Monday, December 12, 2011

Would my coworkers see me differently if I told them.......?

that i think the manager is hot?

except he's really really strict..

i get along with *most* of my co-workers.. i was about to tell one of them yesterday, when we were talking about how strict the manager is.... but i was like nahh, it can wait.Would my coworkers see me differently if I told them.......?
i think this is one that is probably best kept to yourselfWould my coworkers see me differently if I told them.......?
no i dont think so
Be careful with workplace relationships.....!!
probably not...but y do u feel this need to tell them? lol
they would think that you are very weird, trust me keep this to yourself.
Well, it depends on how they see you now.

If they see you as a hardworking professional, then, yeah, they'll look at you differently.

But if they see you as the immature, self-absorbed, office gossip, then probably no change.
They might think you were trying to get ahead. lol
You may get some incentives no matter how strict may he be!!
attraction is attraction if you think sum 1 is hot them u think they r hot sometimes i think someone is ugly but attacted to tem

Is there any problem with having female coworkers sitting on my lap?

I like my girlfriend and we get along very well. But she can't uderstand that I am of free will and don't want that she impose me limits. We have parties with coworkers from job, male and female. I like female (as friends) and some of them sit in my lap while talking. No other thoughts still it is nice to feel that coworkers like so much to sit on you. Then my girlfriend found out and ';Alleluja'; she was angry and furious how can I do such things, touch other women, cuddling them on my legs etc. She believes that only two persons, who love each other, may do that. She looks at it as sign of infidelity. I told her that she is behaving really strange, funny and immature. She doesn't understand what means friendship beacuse she doesn't go to many parties and is more asocial, she just wants to be with me and closest frineds. I told her to grow up and get real or she may go. What normal person would have anything against socialising with female coworkers? Isn't that so? Thank you for answer.Is there any problem with having female coworkers sitting on my lap?
well I can see why this ended up in the dog section...

I hope your girlfriend wises up and dumps you for someone who is alot more respectful and mature...Is there any problem with having female coworkers sitting on my lap?
Well I guess this is appropriate for the DOG section, but I think you missunderstood the type of dog the questions should be about.
Um Wrong section? You posted this is ';Dogs';

I do kinda find that offensive. And I agree with Live, Love, Bark! 1 up to you. ( and the other answers hah!)
Guys like you are exactly why I prefer dogs to men, more loyalty. Yes, there are MANY problems with having female coworkers sitting in your lap including the possibity of disciplinary action by your exployer due to sexual harassment charges.

Grow up.

Why isn't it normal for people to let ';friends'; sit in their laps? Because that's uncivilized. Maybe if you're a sheik and want your harem girls to do it, fine, but in this society that kind of behavior is reserved for one's girlfriend. Does your Mom sit on a lot of guys' laps or just your Dad's? Ha, they're probably not even together anymore.

That's your problem, you don't even know what people in a committed relationship are supposed to do.

How do I overcome my jealousy with my boyfriend and his coworker?

My boyfriend and I have been together for three years. We live together but are not engaged. We are both teachers. However, we teach at different schools. As the school year is approaching I can feel my jealousy and insecurities coming back. He shares an office with a female and they go to eat lunch once a week. She is getting married in October. I know they do not do anything sexually however both he and she are flirtatious in general. I have spoken to him numerous times about it and I even went along once with them for lunch. She knows about me and always asks about me. But how do I get it through my head, (without discussing it with him) that it is okay and how do I overcome my jealousy toward the whole situation and her as a whole? It has caused many fights between he and I and I am already upset about this upcoming year. How can I not let it affect me?Even when I think that I am over it, it creeps back to bothering me and comes out as an arguement with my boyfriend.

**please only serious answers as I do not think I can handle any rude remarks.

***Also, as mentioned, I have spoke to my boyfriend about this and he sees nothing wrong with what he is doing. How do I overcome my jealousy with my boyfriend and his coworker?
i have a similar situation, and i cant ever get the thought out of my head that is something is going to happen.

what i do, is take a few deep breaths, then think about the situation, the basics for you-

1-weve been together for three years

2-shes getting married

3-he hasnt done anything shady before

(and all of the positives about your relationship)

then come to terms that, probably nothing will happen

most guys are oblivious to the things they do, things like going to lunch with a co worker. they dont think anything of it, so neither should you.

my boyfriend goes out to eat with a friend of his who is a girl quite often, but i just trust him. and ive been hurt before, but thats all you can do, is trust and hope for the best. and if yall have a solid good relationship, where he hasnt done anything bad before, after three years there really is no need to worry or be jealous

easier said than done, but when that thought comes into your head, try doing what i suggested. just dont dwell on the thought, that would be the worst thing to do.

youd hurt yourself and then you could be so insecure it could start more fights with your boyfriend and things might happen

thats the scary thing

goodluck :)
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  • Nosy neighbor/coworker?

    Just recently my boyfriend's supervisor moved in next door, along with another one of his coworkers. Our apartment building's walls are very thin, so I admit, you can hear mumbling through the walls. We try to be as quiet as possible. Yet everyday this supervisor heckles and bothers my boyfriend about ';not being able to sleep'; because of ';too much noise';, rudely implying us. We're quiet and we mind our own business, but what else can we do? I want to give the supervisor a clear message to mind her own business and stop harassing my boyfriend over trivial matters. He doesn't want to complain because he has to work with her and wants to maintain friendliness, while I want to get a clear message across anyway possible.

    How can i get this crazy woman to leave us alone?Nosy neighbor/coworker?
    You guys were living there when she decided to move in. That was her decision and she should not have made it, then. Don't try to alter your lifestyle to please her. It doesn't matter if she's his supervisor. She is not his boss when they are not at work, and she can't control his home life. If she is having problems there then she is always free to find another place to live. You should not have to tell her anything about leaving you alone. Just don't worry about her. You and your boyfriend need to make the decision to live your lives the way you always have and the woman will just have to deal with that. Or go away. It's her choice.Nosy neighbor/coworker?
    You can't her mind is made up and the only choice you have is to move away from the b*tch.
    I would just tell her straight out that you are very quiet and love when your neighbors are also. Tell her she may want to look at the others in the building (if there are any). You do want to keep the peace with people, but when you're falsely being accused of something they need to be set straight.
    You are right, she is rude. Is she asking him these questions at work in front of his co-workers? If so, her behaviour is totally inappropriate and defamatory. She should not be a supervisor with those people skills.

    He is not complaining if he confronts her on her inappropriate behaviour. She, as his supervisor, has crossed over the line and what goes on after hours and not at work is none of her business.

    If she is just saying this to him with no one around, (and it was me she was grilling) I would ask her point blank to explain what type of noise she is hearing (and I would patiently wait for her answer with a straight face). If she dishes out some sort of sexual innuendo, I would ask her directly why she seems to be so preoccupied with what is going on in my life.

    Or, he could approach it with humour. When she talks about the ';too much noise'; coming out of your apartment, he could say ';yeah, I have been meaning to talk to you about that. Perhaps you should come over - we have concerns about the noise level too.'; and just leave it at that. A big open question that she will be wondering exactly what he meant by ';too much noise';. If she does take him up on the offer and comes over, he could guide her to the fridge or air conditioner (or some other potentially noisy appliance) and just stand there looking at it making small talk about calling in a repair man or the building superintendent to have a look at it. You could totally play dumb to her sexual innuendo - if she is not getting a reaction out of him (I assume she is trying to embarrass him) then she will stop.
    I have been through situations like this so many times. Guess what? I got fired for telling this person off. Didnt use any profanity. I just gave them my thoughts. Told this stupid woman that I really didnt give a damn about you trying to control me. A few days later I got fired because apparently I dont have any friends at the workplace and that woman happens to have a LOT of friends at the workplace.

    It pisses me off and I understand your situation. They try to control you like this and when you stand up for yourself and make them realize they cant control you then they find stupid little reasons to get you fired. Im sure they will come up with something eventually.

    I think he should start looking for a different job so that he can quit the job while you tell this woman to mind her own Frigwgihjaweligjain business!!!!

    How do I approach this without looking uncooperative?

    I have a coworker who does not like me. It's not the other way around. People have told me that she's had several problems with other coworker throughout the year. It's been a continuous issue with this particular person. I'm not sure why she doesn檛 care for me but it's gotten so ridiculous that she almost daily complains about me to my supervisor and when I explain why I handled a situation in the way I did, 99% of the time it's obvious that she's just creating drama. I work in a very professional environment and for the most part ignore her rants. I do my job and get along with everyone else. In the morning I say good morning to her despite her everyday ignoring me. I can honestly say I've done nothing to her. Other people have suggested a possible emotional problem since this has been an issue with other people as well. They want me to have a sit down with her and get our feelings out. I think this is ridiculous. How do I approach this without looking uncooperative?How do I approach this without looking uncooperative?
    Ignore her. Every time she complains to your supervisor and you supervisor asks you to explain, write a memo to your supervisor saying that she is continually distrating you from getting your work done by making false claims that you are then required to explain. Ask your supervisor to do something to put an end to her false charges--for example, ask you supervisor to ask this co-worker to start writing all of her complaints and providing evidence in her memos.

    This is your supervisor's problem--it diverts workers energy from doing the job.

    Good luck.How do I approach this without looking uncooperative?
    Try a hitman, they're professional, sometimes.
    Have you gone to HR? Try to start logging the events, times, etc.
    I think this airing out session may be a good idea. You will have the final say so, but if it were me, I take this opportunity to possibly settle things.
    I say continue doing what you are doing. It is obvious that she is the one with the problem and I am assuming management is aware of this. I know it makes for a difficult day. Hang in there. I commend you for dealing with this so diplomatically
    tell her to look in the mirror and complain to herself and tell her to think about why shes doing it
    Ask the annoying ***** for lunch then say what up's with you? Do you just like being miserable and give other people problems or maybe she just hasn't got laid ina while!
    i actually agree...thats probably the best way to do it...unless you want the behavior to continue..peer counseling is a good solution...have a 3rd party that can act as a mediator and help you guys express your would be a good idea, just try it...maybe she just feels misunderstood...who knows...sit down with her, have a heart to heart, or even take her out to lunch or something, somewhere, where she won't feel intimidated...good luck
    I worked with a person like that. She like power. If your doing your job all should be great. What your doing is what I would do. ';Kill her with kindness'; the saying goes. She'll look bad doing what she doing if you never act like her. Don't talk bad about her and do your job, your a professional. You can do it.
    I think your co-workers are right. I think you should sit down with her, but not alone. It needs to be mediated by a third party, ideally someone with mediation skills, but if that's not available, an HR representative or even your boss (or SEVERAL co-workers--if you go with co-workers, you need to take 2 or 3 as witnesses to the conversation and to help keep it moving forward. They should NOT side with either of you though) and whichever of those resources is available to you, you should do it. Avoid accusing her of emotional problems, but you can address the pattern. She continues to act this way because she is allowed to. The correct way to deal with interpersonal issues of any kind is to confront the problem in a gentle way.
    Do the sit down and explain that not everyone gets along with the people they work with but as long as you are coworkers you would like to keep it on a professional working basis and leave any personal feelings that her or you might have out of it. Explain that you have no harsh feelings and was wondering why this has to be a drama at work.
    The sad thing about a sit in is nothing will smooth things over. They just don't like you. Some people are just as*holes and that is just how they are. No amount of sit ins or smooth overs are going to work. Just keep a positive attitude, and continue to do your job professionally. If it becomes a problem within the office, then your manager should make the decision based on merit if that person is in need of being removed. I would not do the sit in, in my opinion. I would just let my work speak for itself.
    I know it feels that her intentions are directly upon you. It sounds more like she uses people as her whipping posts. She is obviously under a lot of stress either from her work there or from home. Being compassionate is hard sometimes especially when you have taken so many hits, but try to realize that it likely has nothing to do with you really. Instead of just being polite and tip toeing around her. Try to be a friend. Someone who really cares. Instead of sparring out the anger points...go to her and say something like...

    Look...I know you and I have not really been getting along very well. I want you to know though that I choose not to take it personally. I realize that you have a lot on you and I would prefer not to be your opponent. I want to know if there is anything I can do to help ease your stress. Would you like to have lunch? I'm concerned for you and see that you are going through something right now. I want to help.

    In many cases...a person who is experiencing something difficult will break down at this kindness. They need somewhere inside to reach out and for someone to listen and care. It is so difficult for that to occur in the workplace however because it is drilled into our heads that we aren't suppose to be friends or bring anything from home into work. We forget how to be human and care for one another sometimes. It is my intuition that you will get a lot more accomplished through loving communication with this person.
    Gather the people that HAVE had problems with her, and either sign a letter acknowledging/witnessing each other's issues with this particular co-worker and address it to HR, or simply make an appt as a group with your HR representative and talk this out with HR first. Then HR should approach this co-worker and address these wide concerns, if you sit down w/her face-to-face it will appear in HR terms as you being the problem, and not the other way around.

    Advice on getting an older dog to get along with a younger dog.?

    I have a deaf 13 year old Shetland Sheepdog. 3 months ago I adopted a coworkers 6 year old collie-mix. For the first few months they got along fine, the older one basicly established herself as alpha and proceded to ignore the new dog. Luckly the younger dog, despite being part collie, is very submissive and not hyperactive. I alway feed and greet the older dog first to keep it clear she is alpha. Unfortunately the older dog has recently started snaping, unprovoked at the yonger. At this point my other dog has not retailiated but I'm really not sure how to handle this situation. The older dog has never been agressive in the past put between loosing her hearing, arthritis and the fact that her eyesight is starting to go I can see why her personality is changing. Right now I smack her snout when she snarls and tell the pet the other dog and tell her shes a good girl to reenforce her good behavior of not snarling back. So far this aproach has not really worked. They have not actually fought yet but I would apreciate any advice on how I shold handle this situation.Advice on getting an older dog to get along with a younger dog.?
    If you ask me, the older dog is getting nervous about losing her eyesight and hearing so she is making sure the younger one won't attack her or try to become the leader.

    Or it could just be crabbiness that comes with old age. Sometimes.Advice on getting an older dog to get along with a younger dog.?
    Dogs are much less likely to behave in a dominant or aggressive manner if they first meet on neutral territory. Have your dogs meet initially at a local dog park or a fenced in friend檚 yard. Let them play together and watch how they interact. Praise them both for good behavior.

    When the two dogs are interacting in a friendly manner, speak soothingly and positively to them to reinforce their positive interaction. Your goal should be to make both dogs feel good when they檙e in each others presence.

    When a new dog is introduced into the household, attention can sometimes be directed towards the new family member making your old dog feel left out. Give your original dog the same amount of attention and time that he received prior to the new dog being introduced.

    Don檛 force the new dog to share a feeding bowl, water bowl, bed, or dog house with your original dog. Make sure each dog has his own supplies. Sharing food and water bowls can create unnecessary friction between the two dogs.

    Allow the dogs to determine their own pack order. Once a pack order has been established, reinforce it as much as possible. The dog higher in the pack should be fed first and given treats before the second dog. Don檛 adopt a sympathetic demeanor towards the underdog as this can destroy pack unity and potentially cause a dog fight.

    When you introduce a new dog into your household, some initial friction is to be expected trance. You can also break up a fight with a bucket of cold water poured on the heads of both dogs.

    Bringing a new dog into the household requires a period of adjustment for both humans and animals but with a little patience and caution it can be the beginnings of a wonderful new relationship.

    A subordinate is not open to change and under some stress. How to manage his stress?

    Allan Daniel was a bright coworker till he realized that his project has been shelved. He had been with the project since the last 2 years and had been the best performer in the team several times. He has now been moved to a different project and he seems completely unhappy about it . He says he does not feel confident anymore and does do even get along too well with his new colleagues. Could you help Allan identify his stressors? What action plan could you draw up for him to help him get back to his original self?A subordinate is not open to change and under some stress. How to manage his stress?
    I think that Allan feels very hurt after working on a project for 2 years. If you appreciate his work, why don't you put him back with his old colleagues and give him a project that is at least similar to what he was doing. This is a good way of losing a good employee. I think that you should talk to him and at least promise him a better project and a return to his group after he finishes this project. Also, you could take one of his old colleagues and ask to help Allen to finish this project. He doesn't deserve this, after he worked so hardA subordinate is not open to change and under some stress. How to manage his stress?
    Allan is his stressors. He needs to play through the pain and suck it up. So if he doesn't get his way Allan doesn't want to play anymore? Welcome to adulthood.

    His lack of confidence and problems with co-workers are self inflicted. Sounds as if he moved into the new project with an attitude toward it and the new co-workers. Tell him to snap out of his funk or start searching for another gig!
    It is difficult to keep a ';stiff upper lip'; when you feel marginalized at your job. Doing a lot of work on a project that gets ';canned'; can make you feel as though your work doesn't matter.

    Are there ways that you can reassure him that shelving the project had absolutely nothing to do with him? It sounds like - whether he can tell you this or not - he is craving some validation in his work performance. Is there some reward you can bestow upon him - a day off, recognition in a department meeting, etc. - that has to do with his work ethic and things he regularly does well? Since he doesn't have the completion of a longstanding project to boost his esteem, perhaps you can find other alternative ways to provide him that validation he seeks.

    I sure hope that this is helpful!

    Phyllis R. Neill,