How do you stop looking to others for reassurance and advice?

Im sure I will get some smart a** remarks here, but this is a real problem for me. In almost every area of my life I ask for advice from (parents, husband, coworkers, look online) before making big decisions. I have a huge decision to make %26amp; Im afraid if its the wrong one I will never forgive myself. I also tend to go along with whatever anyone else wants to do so I dont upset anyone. UGH - I hate it!How do you stop looking to others for reassurance and advice?
It sounds like you lack confidence and that you worry a lot about what other people think. It's okay to seek advice, but it sounds like you do it at a higher level than most. I would seek a counselor who could help you get over this. Here's something to try...think about the last 10 or 15 decisions you made where you asked for advice...write them down. Next to it put what you thought was best before you asked anyone, and then next to that put the advice that was given to you. My guess is that you'll find they match up...that is what you thought you should do is what people then told you to do.



Perhaps, the need to please people stems from a belief that relationships are fragile and that people may just leave you if you don't go along with them. Think about times when you wanted to do something but someone else didn't go along with it...do you still like that person or would you let them go? I bet you still like them. They are the same. They will not stop loving/liking you just because you don't go along with what they want to do. My advice is to really stop and think when these situations arise. Check in with yourself ans ask, what do I want? Then, express it. You'll find people will be willing to go along with your ideas as well.



Really, though, a counselor could really help you with this...it probably wouldn't take that long. Good luck.How do you stop looking to others for reassurance and advice?
i think you need to stop talking about your problems to everyone. I personally feel if you want to share your concerns with your husband that is ok. But going to your friends or family to complain about him is not ok. My point is that getting situations or arguments validated by others is only going to lead to disaster. If you have a big decision to make, dont tell anyone at first and really think about what you want. Then when you tell someone, maybe their opinion wont matter as much because you already made up your mind