I was initially approved for unemployment benefits by the state of Illinois after my phone interview. Now my former employer is appealing this decision. The reason for being terminated is ';falsified my application.'; I understand Illinois is an at-will state and I can be fired for anything. I am not arguing the fact I was terminated.
I placed Personal as my reason for leaving my last job when I was terminated. I consider this to be a personal situation, and I was asked to elaborate during the interview as well on this, and I was open and honest about my situation. I just didn't want TERMINATED to be put on my application for anyone to see. Its a personal situation that was on a need to know basis to those interviewing me and in the position to hire me. There were no problems with me being fired from my last job and I was hired. I worked here for 15 months and then, Uh Oh, its a problem.
Now in Illinois I understand that the only reason you can be denied unemployment is for misconduct and that four factors must be present for misconduct to occur. These include:
A willful and deliberate violation of
A reasonable rule or policy that
Governs the employee檚 behavior in performing their work and
Either harmed the employer OR was repeated despite a warning
None of these factors apply to my situation. I was a very good employee winning several performance and sales awards last year, got along with all my coworkers, and was very well liked by my customers.
As for falsifiying my application. I put on my application what I thought and felt an appropriate response. I was not trying to lie, and I was open and honest in the interviewing process.
During my first phone interview with the state on my initial benefits approval the interviewer laughed when I said I had just won an award for being the top sales person in 2008 when he asked me if I was doing a poor job. He immediately then said he heard enough and would send me my decision in a week.
My question is how can my former employer still appeal this and win? They have to prove misconduct on all 4 of those points, and I don't see them being able to prove even 1 of them.
Any advice? Anyone else have a similar situation?I was approved unemployment now my former employer is appealing the decision...?
If you lied on your employment application by not disclosing that you had been fired from a previous position then that can be considered grounds to fire you and also gross misconduct sufficient to deny you unemployment compensation.
If you were fired from a job and asked about it during the application process you have to be truthful, even if it is embarrassing. Most employment applications have a question that asks if you've ever been terminated from a job. If you didn't answer that question accurately, for whatever reason, you can be found to have lied on your application. Lying in applying for a job is always grounds for dismissal. Most employers are now doing background checks to confirm that what you say in your application is correct, so don't lie, you'll get caught.
If you were terminated from your earlier job you have to disclose this if asked and should be prepared to explain the circumstances. Unfortunately, by trying to keep this private you look like you have a truthfulness problem and it is going to be difficult for you to overcome that in the job market unless you are brutally honest when applying for your next job. Better that than being found out later and fired again.I was approved unemployment now my former employer is appealing the decision...?
You opened the door, by not being completly honest.
The appeal is based on that....not on your job performance or action.
You said you were fired for personal reasons....which may have saved your feels, was innaccurate and thus cause for appeal.
You should ask to amend your statement
uh..terminated for failure to disclose an issue may be your downfall here.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Teacher Career Interview questions?
I have to interview an elementary teacher for a career shadowing project. These are the questions i have so far, but I need two more because I have to have twenty. What are two more questions I could ask? Thanks!!!
1. How long have you been teaching?
2. What is your educational background?
3. Why did you want to go into teaching?
4. Did anyone influence your decisions to pursue the career that you did and the education that you did? If so, who?
5. Did you always know that you wanted to pursue a career in teaching?
6. If not, what career did you want to pursue as a child?
7. What was the hardest part when you first became a teacher, maybe in your first year?
8. What do you like the most about your job?
9. What do you like the least about your job?
10. What qualities do you think are necessary to be a teacher?
11. What do you think are the greatest challenges in teaching?
12. What does a typical day for you look like?
13. How important is it to get along well with your coworkers?
14. What advice would you give to someone young who someday wanted to be a teacher?
15. If you could change one thing about your job, what would it be?
16. At the end of the day, does it feel good to know that you have helped children?
17. Overall, do you enjoy your job?
18. What would you do if you weren檛 a teacher?Teacher Career Interview questions?
Expansion of #11: After asking the greatest challenges, ask about what he/she has done to overcome them (or at least the biggest one)
Could ask if he/she has ever taught any other ages/subjects and which they prefer to teach...
Depending on the answer to this, you could ask for clarifications and that would go above the 20 minimum.
So far, I think you've asked very thoughtful questions. Nice to see someone writing an intelligent and well-written question. Your interview should be great!Teacher Career Interview questions?
How do you approach conflict with other people?
How do/ would you create and use curriculum?
19. What is the most memorable thing that has ever happened to you in the classroom?
20. If you could change one thing about the school system, what would it be and why?
Ask a question to do with salary and are they satisfied financially?
What forms of discipline do you use in your classroom?
What's the salary like?
1. How long have you been teaching?
2. What is your educational background?
3. Why did you want to go into teaching?
4. Did anyone influence your decisions to pursue the career that you did and the education that you did? If so, who?
5. Did you always know that you wanted to pursue a career in teaching?
6. If not, what career did you want to pursue as a child?
7. What was the hardest part when you first became a teacher, maybe in your first year?
8. What do you like the most about your job?
9. What do you like the least about your job?
10. What qualities do you think are necessary to be a teacher?
11. What do you think are the greatest challenges in teaching?
12. What does a typical day for you look like?
13. How important is it to get along well with your coworkers?
14. What advice would you give to someone young who someday wanted to be a teacher?
15. If you could change one thing about your job, what would it be?
16. At the end of the day, does it feel good to know that you have helped children?
17. Overall, do you enjoy your job?
18. What would you do if you weren檛 a teacher?Teacher Career Interview questions?
Expansion of #11: After asking the greatest challenges, ask about what he/she has done to overcome them (or at least the biggest one)
Could ask if he/she has ever taught any other ages/subjects and which they prefer to teach...
Depending on the answer to this, you could ask for clarifications and that would go above the 20 minimum.
So far, I think you've asked very thoughtful questions. Nice to see someone writing an intelligent and well-written question. Your interview should be great!Teacher Career Interview questions?
How do you approach conflict with other people?
How do/ would you create and use curriculum?
19. What is the most memorable thing that has ever happened to you in the classroom?
20. If you could change one thing about the school system, what would it be and why?
Ask a question to do with salary and are they satisfied financially?
What forms of discipline do you use in your classroom?
What's the salary like?
Unfair practices at work????
My company recently hired a new store manager since my previous manager was relocating. The new manager heard about the job through a friend and has a personal connection with the district manager. She was previously earning a high income in mortgage and running a sober living house. She has now been with us for about 2 months. There have been several inappropriate incidents during her firsts months, such as running her other 2 businesses on the side which caused her to be on the phone about every 15 minutes, she still does not know how to complete her simple duties without help or creating an error. Before she was hired my store had a very strong team and I get along with all my coworkers, I was promoted after two months of working there and really was enjoying my job. Now this new manager came in just as hobby while the mortgage market is low, and has been clashing with everyone. Ultimately a few weeks ago an incident occurred between the two of us that required a employee meeting including our district manager. During the meeting I basically explained everything that was going on that wasn't suppose to be going on. After the meeting I was under the impression that everyone was able to get everything out and start anew, but I guess that wasn't the case. After the meeting my manger gave me a hug and apologized. When I returned to work on a shift with her I had dropped all previous tension. I could still feel a tad of animosity from her, but wasn't really a concern. Now were a few weeks later, and I specifically mentioned to the manager that I had full availability during my spring break next week, and she decided just to give me my minimum hours. I decided not to say anything. Then she decided yesterday that she would do the schedules three weeks in advance in the back( this is also an issue we discussed at the meeting, that office hour work was to be done on mondays) and faxed and displayed them when she was done. Earlier that day she had been standoffish to me, but later started talking like everything was just dandy. So i decided this would be the best time to approach her about my decline in hours because I continue to work as hard as usual. I brought the schedule to her attention and she asked me if I wanted to know the truth, so i replied of course i do. She basically explained that she didn't like my attitude and felt I was bringing a negative vibe to the store. I was blindsided because she had been acting extra nice to my face these past weeks, and all of a sudden she turns a evil scorned switch, and basically tells me she cut my hours because she doesn't like me, and does not want to work with me, and is scheduling me around her schedule. Obviously she has no grounds to fire me because I'm one of the top performers. IS IT LEGAL FOR A MANAGER TO SPEAK TO ME THAT WAY, AND CUT MY HOURS JUST BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T LIKE ME, AND SPOKE HONESTLY DURING AN EMPLOYEE MEETING???Unfair practices at work????
Your conduct may be protected against retaliation under the National Labor Relations Act. Although the principle motivation for the NLRA is to protect employees that are trying to unionize, it also extends some protection to an employee who complains about general working conditions on behalf of others, even if the conditions are not unlawful.
Keep in mind though that your employer can still terminate you for other reasons if you are an at will employee, i.e. you don't have an employment contract, and your position is not covered by a collective bargaining agreement, i.e. you are not in a labor union.
A retaliation suit would let a jury second guess an employer's motives. If bad things follow quickly behind protected conduct, juries tend to believe that the protected conduct played a part. Lawsuits however are expensive, and generally speaking, a plaintiff has to show that he or she exhausted an employer's internal procedures for resolving retaliation or that such efforts would have been futile, so your first course of action should be to file a complaint with your Human Resources department alleging retaliation by your manager.
Your conduct may be protected against retaliation under the National Labor Relations Act. Although the principle motivation for the NLRA is to protect employees that are trying to unionize, it also extends some protection to an employee who complains about general working conditions on behalf of others, even if the conditions are not unlawful.
Keep in mind though that your employer can still terminate you for other reasons if you are an at will employee, i.e. you don't have an employment contract, and your position is not covered by a collective bargaining agreement, i.e. you are not in a labor union.
A retaliation suit would let a jury second guess an employer's motives. If bad things follow quickly behind protected conduct, juries tend to believe that the protected conduct played a part. Lawsuits however are expensive, and generally speaking, a plaintiff has to show that he or she exhausted an employer's internal procedures for resolving retaliation or that such efforts would have been futile, so your first course of action should be to file a complaint with your Human Resources department alleging retaliation by your manager.
I don't have enough friends at 33yrs......or do I?
I just realized that although I'll have a good amount of kids for my son's birthday party, it's mostly b/c of my sisters kids (3 kids) and my neighbors ( 4 kids), I don't really have any adult girlfriends to hang out with. My husband (in anger) one time ridiculed the fact that I have no friends.
I get along well with my coworkers (but they live far) and my old friends are scattered across the states.
The church near me doesn't have any groups to join (I checked) and my neighbors are mostly old men.
How can a mature women with kids in elementary school make new girlfriends???
I've gotten so accustomed to staying home and enjoying my hermit lifestyle I hadn't realized (until my husband pointed it out) that I infact don't have any people that call me except my mom and sis! (he's always on the phone w/his friends)I don't have enough friends at 33yrs......or do I?
its normal. im 29 yrs old, and i know nobody within 25 miles from me. same thing, coworkers, and family. thats it. when you have kids (i have 2), a husband, a job, and a home to keep, its very hard to maintain friendships. finding a sitter, having money to go out... all the single women cant understand this, and all the mothers are in the same boat. seriously, this is where things like this the internet) are nice.I don't have enough friends at 33yrs......or do I?
I understand. My man won't allow me to have friends. So when my son's birthday comes around, I have no one to invite. I hate that. You can try cafemom.com and see about setting up playdates with other moms in your area.
well, what about the other moms from school?
Or if you really wanted to you could sign up for a class- which is a good way to meet people.
online maybe at the local park or mall etc...
Same here hun. I am 32 I have four kids work full time and go to college nights. its hard. I just joined a couple of groups on a website not too long ago called www.meetup.com The two out of the others I joined I liked. Some I didn't and quit others I did and am in. You can also go do night classes at a local community school. Those are fun. I know its hard. From experience. Good luck.
Perhaps you can make friends w/ some other moms in your sons school, PTA, volunteer work? I have made friends through my 2 sons schools.
here's a few ideas:
kid's school PTA
being room parent for one your kids
if your kids are into sport, get actively involved in coaching, snacks, car pooling, etc
go to your local library and join a book club (if available)
go to meetup.com they have clubs/groups everywhere in the states, find one or more that suit you and meet up with them
go take a class somewhere, whether it be college, or a local art studio, culinary
local ymca
there's a ton of things out there, you just got to get out there.
Make friends with the other mothers at your child's school...I know easier said then done...we moved away from my friends and family a year ago and I still don't have any friends here...i don't really plan on making any and it doesn't bother me because we are moving back to where my real friends are in about 7 months...but that's about all the advice I can give is the school mom's. Volunteer for some stuff at the school and you can get to know some of them.
--volunteer at your kids' school
--volunteer through some other organization (be an art museum docent, zoo guide -- whatever interests you)
--join a book club/reading group through your library
--join a SUnday school class at your church
--take an art, knitting, painting, etc. class
I have ONE good friend and one good one is all you need...sometimes that one good friend is a family member and damnit.....thats just fine!!!
How old is your son? Why not set up play dates where your son and his friends can play and invites their mothers over? What kind of events is your son involved in?
What about your husband's friends? Do they have wives? I'm not saying that you have to have female friends but that seems to be what you're alluding to needing. What about hanging out with them? Ask if they want to go to dinner sans husbands, movie, etc.
I moved to my husband's hometown area and had no friends. I am now really good friends with his friends wives.
What about offering to host a party...like Mary Kay or tastefully simple or candle-lite and ask anyone you know to come and bring someone they know so you can expand your social circle?
What about your husbands coworkers? My best friend is actually one of his coworkers (a female).
What about joining a sports team? I met some very nice ladies by just randomly joining an indoor soccer team. Take a class...crafts, cooking, athletics?
Hope this gives you some ideas.
Try school but don't put all your eggs there. What do you like to do that doesn't involve your kids? (they will grow up one day and then you'll be lost because you have centered your life around them.) These friends of your husbands, are they single? If not where are their wives? You mentioned the church near you, are you a member there? My church will keep me busy 7 days a week if I let them. Maybe you should look at another one.
friendship is about quality.... not quanity......
you'll make friends as your kids get older and make some friends of their own..... don't listen to your husband...
So what? Its obvious you don't need to be around people as others do. Some people don't like to be close to others besides their family members. You are doing exactly what you want do naturally. You don't have to follow others and always be around others. I think what you really need to ask yourself, are you missing anything?
I am the same way. I have two close friends that I talk to all the time and thats about it. We have very stimilating and interesting discussions about world events, culture and business. I am not the type of person that will sit in a room and chat about nothing, it's boring. My wife on the other hand can talk on the phone for two hours about nothing. she needs lots of people around all the time, so I have to stick it out for those events. I end up observing more than anything and I the only thing I notice is how shallow and insecure most people are in group settings. They try and to get someone to either agree with their comments or opinions, or justification for something they are doing because they can't make a decision about themselves.
You also can't really call someone a friend until something bad happens and see how they scatter when it does.
join the PTA - take a class at the y or local community college
I agree that it's normal nowadays. I had many more ';friends'; when I was younger. Due to different schedules, it's often very difficult for me to get together with anyone. I work first shift (office 9-5) and a few of my ';close'; friends work odd or irregular shifts/days. Being married, I find myself more dedicated to my husband than anyone else. I just don't have time for that many friends. I'm sure with your family, it is harder to get together with friends/make friends unless they are married with kids.
I agree that a couple of friends are enough. Sometimes that friend is your spouse, your mom or one of your siblings. I am closer to my sister than ever before at the age of 34 (she's 28 with a 2 1/2 yr old child).
I get along well with my coworkers (but they live far) and my old friends are scattered across the states.
The church near me doesn't have any groups to join (I checked) and my neighbors are mostly old men.
How can a mature women with kids in elementary school make new girlfriends???
I've gotten so accustomed to staying home and enjoying my hermit lifestyle I hadn't realized (until my husband pointed it out) that I infact don't have any people that call me except my mom and sis! (he's always on the phone w/his friends)I don't have enough friends at 33yrs......or do I?
its normal. im 29 yrs old, and i know nobody within 25 miles from me. same thing, coworkers, and family. thats it. when you have kids (i have 2), a husband, a job, and a home to keep, its very hard to maintain friendships. finding a sitter, having money to go out... all the single women cant understand this, and all the mothers are in the same boat. seriously, this is where things like this the internet) are nice.I don't have enough friends at 33yrs......or do I?
I understand. My man won't allow me to have friends. So when my son's birthday comes around, I have no one to invite. I hate that. You can try cafemom.com and see about setting up playdates with other moms in your area.
well, what about the other moms from school?
Or if you really wanted to you could sign up for a class- which is a good way to meet people.
online maybe at the local park or mall etc...
Same here hun. I am 32 I have four kids work full time and go to college nights. its hard. I just joined a couple of groups on a website not too long ago called www.meetup.com The two out of the others I joined I liked. Some I didn't and quit others I did and am in. You can also go do night classes at a local community school. Those are fun. I know its hard. From experience. Good luck.
Perhaps you can make friends w/ some other moms in your sons school, PTA, volunteer work? I have made friends through my 2 sons schools.
here's a few ideas:
kid's school PTA
being room parent for one your kids
if your kids are into sport, get actively involved in coaching, snacks, car pooling, etc
go to your local library and join a book club (if available)
go to meetup.com they have clubs/groups everywhere in the states, find one or more that suit you and meet up with them
go take a class somewhere, whether it be college, or a local art studio, culinary
local ymca
there's a ton of things out there, you just got to get out there.
Make friends with the other mothers at your child's school...I know easier said then done...we moved away from my friends and family a year ago and I still don't have any friends here...i don't really plan on making any and it doesn't bother me because we are moving back to where my real friends are in about 7 months...but that's about all the advice I can give is the school mom's. Volunteer for some stuff at the school and you can get to know some of them.
--volunteer at your kids' school
--volunteer through some other organization (be an art museum docent, zoo guide -- whatever interests you)
--join a book club/reading group through your library
--join a SUnday school class at your church
--take an art, knitting, painting, etc. class
I have ONE good friend and one good one is all you need...sometimes that one good friend is a family member and damnit.....thats just fine!!!
How old is your son? Why not set up play dates where your son and his friends can play and invites their mothers over? What kind of events is your son involved in?
What about your husband's friends? Do they have wives? I'm not saying that you have to have female friends but that seems to be what you're alluding to needing. What about hanging out with them? Ask if they want to go to dinner sans husbands, movie, etc.
I moved to my husband's hometown area and had no friends. I am now really good friends with his friends wives.
What about offering to host a party...like Mary Kay or tastefully simple or candle-lite and ask anyone you know to come and bring someone they know so you can expand your social circle?
What about your husbands coworkers? My best friend is actually one of his coworkers (a female).
What about joining a sports team? I met some very nice ladies by just randomly joining an indoor soccer team. Take a class...crafts, cooking, athletics?
Hope this gives you some ideas.
Try school but don't put all your eggs there. What do you like to do that doesn't involve your kids? (they will grow up one day and then you'll be lost because you have centered your life around them.) These friends of your husbands, are they single? If not where are their wives? You mentioned the church near you, are you a member there? My church will keep me busy 7 days a week if I let them. Maybe you should look at another one.
friendship is about quality.... not quanity......
you'll make friends as your kids get older and make some friends of their own..... don't listen to your husband...
So what? Its obvious you don't need to be around people as others do. Some people don't like to be close to others besides their family members. You are doing exactly what you want do naturally. You don't have to follow others and always be around others. I think what you really need to ask yourself, are you missing anything?
I am the same way. I have two close friends that I talk to all the time and thats about it. We have very stimilating and interesting discussions about world events, culture and business. I am not the type of person that will sit in a room and chat about nothing, it's boring. My wife on the other hand can talk on the phone for two hours about nothing. she needs lots of people around all the time, so I have to stick it out for those events. I end up observing more than anything and I the only thing I notice is how shallow and insecure most people are in group settings. They try and to get someone to either agree with their comments or opinions, or justification for something they are doing because they can't make a decision about themselves.
You also can't really call someone a friend until something bad happens and see how they scatter when it does.
join the PTA - take a class at the y or local community college
I agree that it's normal nowadays. I had many more ';friends'; when I was younger. Due to different schedules, it's often very difficult for me to get together with anyone. I work first shift (office 9-5) and a few of my ';close'; friends work odd or irregular shifts/days. Being married, I find myself more dedicated to my husband than anyone else. I just don't have time for that many friends. I'm sure with your family, it is harder to get together with friends/make friends unless they are married with kids.
I agree that a couple of friends are enough. Sometimes that friend is your spouse, your mom or one of your siblings. I am closer to my sister than ever before at the age of 34 (she's 28 with a 2 1/2 yr old child).
Unfair practices at work?
IS IT LEGAL FOR A MANAGER TO SPEAK TO ME THAT WAY, AND CUT MY HOURS JUST BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T LIKE ME, AND SPOKE HONESTLY DURING AN EMPLOYEE MEETING???
My company recently hired a new store manager since my previous manager was relocating. The new manager heard about the job through a friend and has a personal connection with the district manager. She was previously earning a high income in mortgage and running a sober living house. She has now been with us for about 2 months. There have been several inappropriate incidents during her firsts months, such as running her other 2 businesses on the side which caused her to be on the phone about every 15 minutes, she still does not know how to complete her simple duties without help or creating an error. Before she was hired my store had a very strong team and I get along with all my coworkers, I was promoted after two months of working there and really was enjoying my job. Now this new manager came in just as hobby while the mortgage market is low, and has been clashing with everyone. Ultimately a few weeks ago an incident occurred between the two of us that required a employee meeting including our district manager. During the meeting I basically explained everything that was going on that wasn't suppose to be going on. After the meeting I was under the impression that everyone was able to get everything out and start anew, but I guess that wasn't the case. After the meeting my manger gave me a hug and apologized. When I returned to work on a shift with her I had dropped all previous tension. I could still feel a tad of animosity from her, but wasn't really a concern. Now were a few weeks later, and I specifically mentioned to the manager that I had full availability during my spring break next week, and she decided just to give me my minimum hours. I decided not to say anything. Then she decided yesterday that she would do the schedules three weeks in advance in the back( this is also an issue we discussed at the meeting, that office hour work was to be done on mondays) and faxed and displayed them when she was done. Earlier that day she had been standoffish to me, but later started talking like everything was just dandy. So i decided this would be the best time to approach her about my decline in hours because I continue to work as hard as usual. I brought the schedule to her attention and she asked me if I wanted to know the truth, so i replied of course i do. She basically explained that she didn't like my attitude and felt I was bringing a negative vibe to the store. I was blindsided because she had been acting extra nice to my face these past weeks, and all of a sudden she turns a evil scorned switch, and basically tells me she cut my hours because she doesn't like me, and does not want to work with me, and is scheduling me around her schedule. Obviously she has no grounds to fire me because I'm one of the top performers. IS IT LEGAL FOR A MANAGER TO SPEAK TO ME THAT WAY, AND CUT MY HOURS JUST BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T LIKE ME, AND SPOKE HONESTLY DURING AN EMPLOYEE MEETING???Unfair practices at work?
Shane is right. The NLRA doesn't just cover protection for employees trying to unionize. It protects an employee whose conduct is in furtherance of addressing work conditions for the benefit of fellow employees.
A retaliation lawsuit can be expensive and generally you have to exhaust employer provided remedies first so you should file a complaint with HR.
Bdancer222's condescending answer has nothing to do with the legality of what your manager is doing and also only has value within the constraints of her own limited experience which may not even be applicable here. When I see words like ';district manager'; in this context, it leads me to believe that this is fairly large company with multiple offices and stores over multiple regions. Employers like these generally do not operate in a manner that is consistent with the picture she is painting. They do take retaliation very seriously, particularly if the manager is not considered to be a significant asset to the business. (In this case it sounds like she is a liability and, if the company were my client, I would advise them to put her on notice and build a case to terminate her for cause.)
Employers that do operate on that scale and allow management to run amok like that are extremely exposed in terms of labor liability (and pay law firms like mine LOTS of money, when it finally catches up with them, to minimize the damage and institute labor practices to protect them from further exposure).Unfair practices at work?
Your employers can do anything they want.
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED A UNION.
It's called retaliation. I would file another complaint against this former druggy/alki. Obviously if she's running a sober house that means she is nothing more than a former addict. If she is treating other workers like this I suggest you encourage them to file a complaint against her as well.
I'm sorry I just could not read all the way thru your post -- paragraphs are your friend.
Basically, you and the new boss don't get along. You foolishly went out of your way to make her look bad in front of her boss. Now this is even worse since you know that she has a personal connection to this district manager. You literally painted a great big bullseye right on your back.
If you like this job, you need to dial waaaay back on your attitude -- and there is not doubt that you are showing attitude. Just shut up and do our job. Don't worry about what the new boss is doing or not doing. It isn't your place. Don't discuss it with fellow employees. Don't even listen to employee gossip about her.
If she's as lax and careless at the job as you described, eventually it will catch up to her. But if you don't quit obsessing about it, you won't be there to see it. Because right now, she can blame you for all her failings.
By the way, this is a pretty normal situation out there in the real world. Getting saddled with a new boss that you don't like or is incompetent can be pretty normal. You have to learn to just do your job and get out of the firing range.
Talk to your boss... Let them know that you don't fell appreciated.. and they should understand.. you know there could be some miss communications.
sometimes you have to pick your battles , speaking the truth when it may be wise not to shows maturity, it is retaliation but it is not illegal, also be aware you can be fired for any reason such as your manager doesn't like you or no reason, it may be unfair but not illegal
bdancer2 is right. I'd just like to add:
The main and very important sentence here is: (she) ';...heard about the job through a friend and has a personal connection to the district manager.'; Uh oh.
Always be very, very careful what you say, and to whom. You really don't know who knows who, and/or who's calling who on weekends/before and after work/holidays/even on vacation. No more is it What You Know-it has turned into Who You Know.
Since you spoke up at your meeting, your manager now has decided to ';get back'; at you, re less hours.
She's ';scheduling you around her schedule?'; Doesn't sound promising. I'm not trying to sound faceious(sp) or fault you, but even though you may be a top performer-please remember: unless you're a union member, you can be let go or fired without notice.
Never get too complaicent on a job and think you ';can't be fired.'; Companies are firing/letting people go, some with 25+ years, from CEO's to Cleaning people and the same thing can go for your manager.
Good luck.
My company recently hired a new store manager since my previous manager was relocating. The new manager heard about the job through a friend and has a personal connection with the district manager. She was previously earning a high income in mortgage and running a sober living house. She has now been with us for about 2 months. There have been several inappropriate incidents during her firsts months, such as running her other 2 businesses on the side which caused her to be on the phone about every 15 minutes, she still does not know how to complete her simple duties without help or creating an error. Before she was hired my store had a very strong team and I get along with all my coworkers, I was promoted after two months of working there and really was enjoying my job. Now this new manager came in just as hobby while the mortgage market is low, and has been clashing with everyone. Ultimately a few weeks ago an incident occurred between the two of us that required a employee meeting including our district manager. During the meeting I basically explained everything that was going on that wasn't suppose to be going on. After the meeting I was under the impression that everyone was able to get everything out and start anew, but I guess that wasn't the case. After the meeting my manger gave me a hug and apologized. When I returned to work on a shift with her I had dropped all previous tension. I could still feel a tad of animosity from her, but wasn't really a concern. Now were a few weeks later, and I specifically mentioned to the manager that I had full availability during my spring break next week, and she decided just to give me my minimum hours. I decided not to say anything. Then she decided yesterday that she would do the schedules three weeks in advance in the back( this is also an issue we discussed at the meeting, that office hour work was to be done on mondays) and faxed and displayed them when she was done. Earlier that day she had been standoffish to me, but later started talking like everything was just dandy. So i decided this would be the best time to approach her about my decline in hours because I continue to work as hard as usual. I brought the schedule to her attention and she asked me if I wanted to know the truth, so i replied of course i do. She basically explained that she didn't like my attitude and felt I was bringing a negative vibe to the store. I was blindsided because she had been acting extra nice to my face these past weeks, and all of a sudden she turns a evil scorned switch, and basically tells me she cut my hours because she doesn't like me, and does not want to work with me, and is scheduling me around her schedule. Obviously she has no grounds to fire me because I'm one of the top performers. IS IT LEGAL FOR A MANAGER TO SPEAK TO ME THAT WAY, AND CUT MY HOURS JUST BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T LIKE ME, AND SPOKE HONESTLY DURING AN EMPLOYEE MEETING???Unfair practices at work?
Shane is right. The NLRA doesn't just cover protection for employees trying to unionize. It protects an employee whose conduct is in furtherance of addressing work conditions for the benefit of fellow employees.
A retaliation lawsuit can be expensive and generally you have to exhaust employer provided remedies first so you should file a complaint with HR.
Bdancer222's condescending answer has nothing to do with the legality of what your manager is doing and also only has value within the constraints of her own limited experience which may not even be applicable here. When I see words like ';district manager'; in this context, it leads me to believe that this is fairly large company with multiple offices and stores over multiple regions. Employers like these generally do not operate in a manner that is consistent with the picture she is painting. They do take retaliation very seriously, particularly if the manager is not considered to be a significant asset to the business. (In this case it sounds like she is a liability and, if the company were my client, I would advise them to put her on notice and build a case to terminate her for cause.)
Employers that do operate on that scale and allow management to run amok like that are extremely exposed in terms of labor liability (and pay law firms like mine LOTS of money, when it finally catches up with them, to minimize the damage and institute labor practices to protect them from further exposure).Unfair practices at work?
Your employers can do anything they want.
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED A UNION.
It's called retaliation. I would file another complaint against this former druggy/alki. Obviously if she's running a sober house that means she is nothing more than a former addict. If she is treating other workers like this I suggest you encourage them to file a complaint against her as well.
I'm sorry I just could not read all the way thru your post -- paragraphs are your friend.
Basically, you and the new boss don't get along. You foolishly went out of your way to make her look bad in front of her boss. Now this is even worse since you know that she has a personal connection to this district manager. You literally painted a great big bullseye right on your back.
If you like this job, you need to dial waaaay back on your attitude -- and there is not doubt that you are showing attitude. Just shut up and do our job. Don't worry about what the new boss is doing or not doing. It isn't your place. Don't discuss it with fellow employees. Don't even listen to employee gossip about her.
If she's as lax and careless at the job as you described, eventually it will catch up to her. But if you don't quit obsessing about it, you won't be there to see it. Because right now, she can blame you for all her failings.
By the way, this is a pretty normal situation out there in the real world. Getting saddled with a new boss that you don't like or is incompetent can be pretty normal. You have to learn to just do your job and get out of the firing range.
Talk to your boss... Let them know that you don't fell appreciated.. and they should understand.. you know there could be some miss communications.
sometimes you have to pick your battles , speaking the truth when it may be wise not to shows maturity, it is retaliation but it is not illegal, also be aware you can be fired for any reason such as your manager doesn't like you or no reason, it may be unfair but not illegal
bdancer2 is right. I'd just like to add:
The main and very important sentence here is: (she) ';...heard about the job through a friend and has a personal connection to the district manager.'; Uh oh.
Always be very, very careful what you say, and to whom. You really don't know who knows who, and/or who's calling who on weekends/before and after work/holidays/even on vacation. No more is it What You Know-it has turned into Who You Know.
Since you spoke up at your meeting, your manager now has decided to ';get back'; at you, re less hours.
She's ';scheduling you around her schedule?'; Doesn't sound promising. I'm not trying to sound faceious(sp) or fault you, but even though you may be a top performer-please remember: unless you're a union member, you can be let go or fired without notice.
Never get too complaicent on a job and think you ';can't be fired.'; Companies are firing/letting people go, some with 25+ years, from CEO's to Cleaning people and the same thing can go for your manager.
Good luck.
How do you handle a coworker that is so loud?
I get along great with my coworker. Wonderful and nice person. Knows their stuff. However, this person can be so loud. I mean hurt my ears loud, make it hard for me to work loud. It's not all the time but it is quite often. It's like they want and need attention. I do chat with them. It's ok.How do you handle a coworker that is so loud?
They may be partially deaf. If not just, cover your ears and run from their presence screaming, My ears,my ears. After the sixth or seventh time they may figure it out.lolHow do you handle a coworker that is so loud?
Maybe you could say something like ';Do you think you could speak softer, I have a headache.'; It may work at least once, and then maybe they'll get the hint.
You should probably pull her to the side and let her Know if she can be a little less loud please.....its giving you a hear ache nothing personal!
Alot of these people just have no idea how loud they are. Just tell em, speak lower!
They may be partially deaf. If not just, cover your ears and run from their presence screaming, My ears,my ears. After the sixth or seventh time they may figure it out.lolHow do you handle a coworker that is so loud?
Maybe you could say something like ';Do you think you could speak softer, I have a headache.'; It may work at least once, and then maybe they'll get the hint.
You should probably pull her to the side and let her Know if she can be a little less loud please.....its giving you a hear ache nothing personal!
Alot of these people just have no idea how loud they are. Just tell em, speak lower!
How I do I keep my mother out of my love life?
For good. I'm 22, i have a scholarship for college, never have done drugs or smoked, never had sex, but for my whole life NOTHING I ever did was good enough. She never talked to me about sex, calls me a s l u t for even talking to my guy friend (who I later found out was gay), and acts like I have no sexuality because she never even asked me if I thought someone was cute. I NEVER want her involved in my love life but at the same time I don't want to become enemies. I want to have the type of relationship you would have with a classmate, or a coworker--you get along, but never talk about personal lives. HOw do I do this.How I do I keep my mother out of my love life?
That's a difficult type of relationship your trying to establish with your mother. She's not just any other co-worker or non-important person, she's the woman who gave you life. Granted, moms can be a bit pushy and overbearing, but you should look at the overall aspect of it, does she mean you harm? Does she go after you personally and make things personal? If she constantly abuses you mentally and emotionally, then she might need some counseling, maybe family counseling that you can both take together. But if it's nothing more than a mom just being a regular mom, then you should know that she just wants the best for you and probably doesn't want you to suffer the same life and fate she has. She probably has low self esteem issues and turns out her anger at those closest to her, like your, her daughter. I wish you luck.How I do I keep my mother out of my love life?
JUST DO IT !!!! Everything else will fall into place. You have to be able to live your own life. Your moms problems are hers. Never NOT do something because of what you '; think '; might happen. EVEN if you know it will happen.
Family therapy.
Because if she won't leave you alone by herself at age 22, you're in trouble. My mom trusts me to be responsible and just tell her if I start soemthing, and has since I was 17!
Its good that your mother cares about you enough to care about your life. Just talk to her, and tell her gently that you can take care of yourself, and do something to prove to her how responsible you are.
Well, 35 years ago, when I was in your shoes, I moved 600 miles from my mother and never told her anything specific or personal about my life. When I got married, she thought it was sudden because I'd never spoken to her about him, although I'd been dating him for over a year. You need to not live with her. If unable to do that, when she makes unwanted comments like ';slut';, etc., there are several ways you can respond: ';Thank you for your opinion'; ; ';Must have something to do with the way I was raised';; ';You never liked anything I do anyway, why should this be different?'; ';I learned from the best.'; ';Well, that's another rung on the ladder of self-esteem - thank you , mom'; Mainly, you have to get her to understand that she had her shot at youth and this is yours and that if she has nothing constructive to say, maybe she shouldn't say anything. You will not get her to stop by being sweet and kind. People like that need a verbal 2x4 upside the head. Or, you could just say, ';mom, when you make comments like that, it makes me sad that you can't find anything positive to say, or anything you like about me.'; Or, you could also say ';I'm sorry I make you so unhappy';.
keep her out of the loop. dont tell her stuff. I dont like my dad and he is completely out of my life. and I am younger than you. He lives in a nother state however. But you are 22 and should be independent and tell her straight up that you do not want her involved in your life and she should respect that. You also should tell ger that she should trust your judgement ( never smoked etc...)
Given that she sounds like a verbally and emotionally abusive person, it's unlikely you'll ever have a pleasant relationship with her.
The way to keep her out of your love life is to refuse to discuss it with her.
Don't tell her about any guy you talk to, date, or see seriously.
When she calls you names, experiment with ways to discourage her.
';Um, hmmm.';
';I don't see why you say that; I've never done anything to deserve you're calling me [whatever she just called you].'; Say it in a quiet, sad voice.
';Thanks, mom.';
or whatever other replies you can think of.
Do NOT take anything she says to you to heart.
You might consider counseling; being the daughter of an abusive mother has probably messed up your head; a professional can help you sort things out.
Do NOT give her the power to determine YOUR sense of self-worth. Obviously, she's no judge anyway.
Whenever she asks about your personal life, give a vague answer and change the subject.
Minimize contact.
That's a difficult type of relationship your trying to establish with your mother. She's not just any other co-worker or non-important person, she's the woman who gave you life. Granted, moms can be a bit pushy and overbearing, but you should look at the overall aspect of it, does she mean you harm? Does she go after you personally and make things personal? If she constantly abuses you mentally and emotionally, then she might need some counseling, maybe family counseling that you can both take together. But if it's nothing more than a mom just being a regular mom, then you should know that she just wants the best for you and probably doesn't want you to suffer the same life and fate she has. She probably has low self esteem issues and turns out her anger at those closest to her, like your, her daughter. I wish you luck.How I do I keep my mother out of my love life?
JUST DO IT !!!! Everything else will fall into place. You have to be able to live your own life. Your moms problems are hers. Never NOT do something because of what you '; think '; might happen. EVEN if you know it will happen.
Family therapy.
Because if she won't leave you alone by herself at age 22, you're in trouble. My mom trusts me to be responsible and just tell her if I start soemthing, and has since I was 17!
Its good that your mother cares about you enough to care about your life. Just talk to her, and tell her gently that you can take care of yourself, and do something to prove to her how responsible you are.
Well, 35 years ago, when I was in your shoes, I moved 600 miles from my mother and never told her anything specific or personal about my life. When I got married, she thought it was sudden because I'd never spoken to her about him, although I'd been dating him for over a year. You need to not live with her. If unable to do that, when she makes unwanted comments like ';slut';, etc., there are several ways you can respond: ';Thank you for your opinion'; ; ';Must have something to do with the way I was raised';; ';You never liked anything I do anyway, why should this be different?'; ';I learned from the best.'; ';Well, that's another rung on the ladder of self-esteem - thank you , mom'; Mainly, you have to get her to understand that she had her shot at youth and this is yours and that if she has nothing constructive to say, maybe she shouldn't say anything. You will not get her to stop by being sweet and kind. People like that need a verbal 2x4 upside the head. Or, you could just say, ';mom, when you make comments like that, it makes me sad that you can't find anything positive to say, or anything you like about me.'; Or, you could also say ';I'm sorry I make you so unhappy';.
keep her out of the loop. dont tell her stuff. I dont like my dad and he is completely out of my life. and I am younger than you. He lives in a nother state however. But you are 22 and should be independent and tell her straight up that you do not want her involved in your life and she should respect that. You also should tell ger that she should trust your judgement ( never smoked etc...)
Given that she sounds like a verbally and emotionally abusive person, it's unlikely you'll ever have a pleasant relationship with her.
The way to keep her out of your love life is to refuse to discuss it with her.
Don't tell her about any guy you talk to, date, or see seriously.
When she calls you names, experiment with ways to discourage her.
';Um, hmmm.';
';I don't see why you say that; I've never done anything to deserve you're calling me [whatever she just called you].'; Say it in a quiet, sad voice.
';Thanks, mom.';
or whatever other replies you can think of.
Do NOT take anything she says to you to heart.
You might consider counseling; being the daughter of an abusive mother has probably messed up your head; a professional can help you sort things out.
Do NOT give her the power to determine YOUR sense of self-worth. Obviously, she's no judge anyway.
Whenever she asks about your personal life, give a vague answer and change the subject.
Minimize contact.
Professional job right out of college??
I'm basically asking for a little advice for career opportunities post college. I graduated from a solid private college and majored in finance and marketing. I took a job right of college as a Auto Claims Representative for an insurance company. It has been challenging, but a good experience. I make mistakes since i'm new, but i work hard and get along with my coworkers. I';m the youngest on my team. I've trained for 3 months, and worked for about 4 months. My primary goal would be to get into the marketing department they have at the company on site. I heard that you have to put in at least 1-2 years of quality experience at this position, since they hired me for this in the first place. I recently got moved to another team to fill a need since they needed a qualified rep for some other states. Any advice on how to craft my career path to where i want it to go either with this company or another one??Professional job right out of college??
I think you need the MBA if you want to stand out...............
The finance area will pay more .at the start and at the end.........
I think you need the MBA if you want to stand out...............
The finance area will pay more .at the start and at the end.........
MIL seems to have found a new DIL. It's driving me crazy!?
To give a tad bit of background, I do not have a mother figure. I started dating my husband as a teenager so my MIL has been in my life for over 10 years now. I love her.
There is a coworker of hers who is attached herself. When my husband and I are in town to see the in-laws, she is always there for dinner. She stays in our bed. When my MIL drives down to see us, this coworker tags along uninvited. She was originally assigned to my MIL as a mentor program.
My issue is this--She is now decorating my MILs house with pictures of these mother-daughter outings. Any picture of my husband and me has been replaced with pictures of her at all the family outings.
It bothers me more and more. Originally it didn't get to me. I thought in a year or so, the girl would stop needing to be mentored. I thought the girl would be with her own family or date someone. My husband and I joked about her wanting to be the daughter-in-law and marrying my husband. But now that my husband and I have been married for 4 years, the fact that I'm not invited to ANY of these events bothers me. I understand if I can't go since we are a couple hours away, but to not even be invited and then have all the mother daughter pictures posted everywhere hurts.
What would you do? How would you discuss this? Am I just being insanely over-emotional or jealous? Or would this bother you? Or would it be natural to be invited to mother-daughter outings first, even if there is the possibility I couldn't go, with my own family before a stranger was invited? I won't talk to her about it if I'm just being jealous but replacing all my pictures and sleeping in my bed seems creepy to me. Off base?MIL seems to have found a new DIL. It's driving me crazy!?
The world owes all its onward impulses to men ill at ease. The happy man inevitably confines himself within ancient limits.MIL seems to have found a new DIL. It's driving me crazy!?
Clearly this relationship is one that your mother in law wants. Maybe you can find some ways to rekindle, reshape, reinvent, your relationship with MIL. I would not give any thought to the other woman but focus on how you and MIL can spend quality time together. And it is okay to feel a little possessive, just don't act from that.can i demandare fundata shop how is it to work two jobs
There is a coworker of hers who is attached herself. When my husband and I are in town to see the in-laws, she is always there for dinner. She stays in our bed. When my MIL drives down to see us, this coworker tags along uninvited. She was originally assigned to my MIL as a mentor program.
My issue is this--She is now decorating my MILs house with pictures of these mother-daughter outings. Any picture of my husband and me has been replaced with pictures of her at all the family outings.
It bothers me more and more. Originally it didn't get to me. I thought in a year or so, the girl would stop needing to be mentored. I thought the girl would be with her own family or date someone. My husband and I joked about her wanting to be the daughter-in-law and marrying my husband. But now that my husband and I have been married for 4 years, the fact that I'm not invited to ANY of these events bothers me. I understand if I can't go since we are a couple hours away, but to not even be invited and then have all the mother daughter pictures posted everywhere hurts.
What would you do? How would you discuss this? Am I just being insanely over-emotional or jealous? Or would this bother you? Or would it be natural to be invited to mother-daughter outings first, even if there is the possibility I couldn't go, with my own family before a stranger was invited? I won't talk to her about it if I'm just being jealous but replacing all my pictures and sleeping in my bed seems creepy to me. Off base?MIL seems to have found a new DIL. It's driving me crazy!?
The world owes all its onward impulses to men ill at ease. The happy man inevitably confines himself within ancient limits.MIL seems to have found a new DIL. It's driving me crazy!?
Clearly this relationship is one that your mother in law wants. Maybe you can find some ways to rekindle, reshape, reinvent, your relationship with MIL. I would not give any thought to the other woman but focus on how you and MIL can spend quality time together. And it is okay to feel a little possessive, just don't act from that.
Please help. What should I do?
I had hooked up with a coworker since I did feel a little attracted to him, but at the time hew was in a long-distance relationship and still might be. We never actually had sex but we touched, caressed, and we would have dry sex. You know he would rub his private against mine. The thing is I've never been sexual with or even kissed a guy. So maybe there is something wrong with me. Anyway back in November, I emailed him telling him that this FWB is over and that I would tell HR on him if he ever suggested hooking up. Since November, I've been ignoring him completely no hello nada. Since I was so mad and hurt. Last month he went out of the country, I was actually relieved that he was gone, but then he came back last week and I kept ignoring him until yesterday. Yesterday, I saw him in the kitchen and he said hello, you know like a mechanical/ break the ice hello and I smiled and said hello and that was it. I felt completely at ease. This morning, I ran into him and said hello and he didn't say anything. I emailed him saying that I was hoping we could be on speaking terms since yesterday I felt at ease with speaking to him. He ignored my email. He actually didn't bother to open it and looked at me like a freak. I personally confronted him and he was like fine. As the afternoon progressed, I did a lot of walking by passing his desk, but I didn't bother to talk to him since I was working. As I was walking back and he was leaving he gave me a somewhat dirty rude look. I personally thought that was rude and I sent him an email stating that I thought him looking at me funny was rude and that I was hurting these past few months and that I was hoping we could get along as coworkers. Then I sent him another email that it was best that we didn't talk and that he should leave me alone and let me do my job. How can I move past this and get out and get some friends and a boyfriend? All I do is work and go to school, but I feel if I were getting out with people. This would be easier to deal with.Please help. What should I do?
I think you could focus on your job and school and stop focusing on this guy...
I think you could focus on your job and school and stop focusing on this guy...
What should I do about this?
I had hooked up with a coworker since I did feel a little attracted to him. We never actually had sex but we touched, caressed, and we would have dry sex. You know he would rub his private against mine. The thing is I've never been sexual with or even kissed a guy. So maybe there is something wrong with me. Anyway back in November, I emailed him telling him that this FWB is over and that I would tell HR on him if he ever suggested hooking up. Since November, I've been ignoring him completely no hello nada. Since I was so mad and hurt. Last month he went out of the country, I was actually relieved that he was gone, but then he came back last week and I kept ignoring him until yesterday. Yesterday, I saw him in the kitchen and he said hello, you know like a mechanical/ break the ice hello and I smiled and said hello and that was it. I felt completely at ease. This morning, I ran into him and said hello and he didn't say anything. I emailed him saying that I was hoping we could be on speaking terms since yesterday I felt at ease with speaking to him. He ignored my email. He actually didn't bother to open it and looked at me like a freak. I personally confronted him and he was like fine. As the afternoon progressed, I did a lot of walking by passing his desk, but I didn't bother to talk to him since I was working. As I was walking back and he was leaving he gave me a somewhat dirty rude look. I personally thought that was rude and I sent him an email stating that I thought him looking at me funny was rude and that I was hurting these past few months and that I was hoping we could get along as coworkers. Then I sent him another email that it was best that we didn't talk and that he should leave me alone and let me do my job. How can I move past this and get out and get some friends and a boyfriend? All I do is work and go to school, but I feel if I were getting out with people. This would be easier to deal with.What should I do about this?
First this guy has a lot of patience. You pulled the I'm going to go legal card on him when you had what you make sound like a consensual experience together. When you do that it means no contact zero zilch nada. Any contact at that point is consider legal sexual harassment and is actionable. Of course he did not want anything to do with you. In fact he is within his legal rights to file with HR on you at this point. Leave him alone. You are beginning to act like a stalker. Now that being said, in order to move on you have to move on. Go out to a nightclub or two. Get some girlfriends to go with you so it doesn't look like you are hunting. Join one of the new social dating groups that go on tours, dinner trips, etc as a group so there is no pairing up pressure. Really just get out.
First this guy has a lot of patience. You pulled the I'm going to go legal card on him when you had what you make sound like a consensual experience together. When you do that it means no contact zero zilch nada. Any contact at that point is consider legal sexual harassment and is actionable. Of course he did not want anything to do with you. In fact he is within his legal rights to file with HR on you at this point. Leave him alone. You are beginning to act like a stalker. Now that being said, in order to move on you have to move on. Go out to a nightclub or two. Get some girlfriends to go with you so it doesn't look like you are hunting. Join one of the new social dating groups that go on tours, dinner trips, etc as a group so there is no pairing up pressure. Really just get out.
How should I let go of this?
I had hooked up with a coworker since I did feel a little attracted to him. Supposedly he has a gf but I don't know. We never actually had sex but we touched, caressed, and we would have dry sex. You know he would rub his private against mine. The thing is I've never been sexual with or even kissed a guy. So maybe there is something wrong with me. Anyway back in November, I emailed him telling him that this FWB is over and that I would tell HR on him if he ever suggested hooking up. Since November, I've been ignoring him completely no hello nada. Since I was so mad and hurt. Last month he went out of the country, I was actually relieved that he was gone, but then he came back last week and I kept ignoring him until yesterday. Yesterday, I saw him in the kitchen and he said hello, you know like a mechanical/ break the ice hello and I smiled and said hello and that was it. I felt completely at ease. This morning, I ran into him and said hello and he didn't say anything. I emailed him saying that I was hoping we could be on speaking terms since yesterday I felt at ease with speaking to him. He ignored my email. He actually didn't bother to open it and looked at me like a freak. I personally confronted him and he was like fine. As the afternoon progressed, I did a lot of walking by passing his desk, but I didn't bother to talk to him since I was working. As I was walking back and he was leaving he gave me a somewhat dirty rude look. I personally thought that was rude and I sent him an email stating that I thought him looking at me funny was rude and that I was hurting these past few months and that I was hoping we could get along as coworkers. Then I sent him another email that it was best that we didn't talk and that he should leave me alone and let me do my job. How can I move past this and get out and get some friends and a boyfriend? All I do is work and go to school, but I feel if I were getting out with people. This would be easier to deal with.
Sometimes he looks at me weird, so I don't know how he's feeling.How should I let go of this?
To be honest he was probably looking for a one night stand with no consequences, and by not letting it go you are looking crazy to him because he thought you felt the same, back off or he will continue thinking thisHow should I let go of this?
First off make up ur mind do u want him to talk to u or not? Second of all stop emailing him I'm sure h doesn't care what u think if he did hed bother to reply. Just do ur thing and let him do his. Don't rush to get a bf ull find a guy someday just enjoy being single for now
First of all, if i were u i would stop sending emails everytime he looks at u funny or says hi or whatever. Just talk to him face to face on your break or something. And if hes giving u dirty looks a lot than just ignore him..delete his email and forget him. Go out somewhere and meet new ppl, im sure u have on friend u can go out with. go to the beach (if ur by one) and just chill.. be social.
use him for money
ask if u can work different shifts, and always go out at night, go to a club, start dancing, flirt with guys around you, and ur co worker probably think ur obsessed because of the emails saying about feelings and stuff, just say screw hima nd go have some fun
Would you please go up to him and say this...''You want to hookup sometime or what?!!!'' Or you will make yourself crazy!! your not 10 anymore! at least i hope your not!?
Sometimes he looks at me weird, so I don't know how he's feeling.How should I let go of this?
To be honest he was probably looking for a one night stand with no consequences, and by not letting it go you are looking crazy to him because he thought you felt the same, back off or he will continue thinking thisHow should I let go of this?
First off make up ur mind do u want him to talk to u or not? Second of all stop emailing him I'm sure h doesn't care what u think if he did hed bother to reply. Just do ur thing and let him do his. Don't rush to get a bf ull find a guy someday just enjoy being single for now
First of all, if i were u i would stop sending emails everytime he looks at u funny or says hi or whatever. Just talk to him face to face on your break or something. And if hes giving u dirty looks a lot than just ignore him..delete his email and forget him. Go out somewhere and meet new ppl, im sure u have on friend u can go out with. go to the beach (if ur by one) and just chill.. be social.
use him for money
ask if u can work different shifts, and always go out at night, go to a club, start dancing, flirt with guys around you, and ur co worker probably think ur obsessed because of the emails saying about feelings and stuff, just say screw hima nd go have some fun
Would you please go up to him and say this...''You want to hookup sometime or what?!!!'' Or you will make yourself crazy!! your not 10 anymore! at least i hope your not!?
How should I get over my anger?
I had hooked up with a coworker since I did feel a little attracted to him. Supposedly he has a gf but I don't know. We never actually had sex but we touched, caressed, and we would have dry sex. You know he would rub his private against mine. The thing is I've never been sexual with or even kissed a guy. So maybe there is something wrong with me. Anyway back in November, I emailed him telling him that this FWB is over and that I would tell HR on him if he ever suggested hooking up. Since November, I've been ignoring him completely no hello nada. Since I was so mad and hurt. Last month he went out of the country, I was actually relieved that he was gone, but then he came back last week and I kept ignoring him until yesterday. Yesterday, I saw him in the kitchen and he said hello, you know like a mechanical/ break the ice hello and I smiled and said hello and that was it. I felt completely at ease. This morning, I ran into him and said hello and he didn't say anything. I emailed him saying that I was hoping we could be on speaking terms since yesterday I felt at ease with speaking to him. He ignored my email. He actually didn't bother to open it and looked at me like a freak. I personally confronted him and he was like fine. As the afternoon progressed, I did a lot of walking by passing his desk, but I didn't bother to talk to him since I was working. As I was walking back and he was leaving he gave me a somewhat dirty rude look. I personally thought that was rude and I sent him an email stating that I thought him looking at me funny was rude and that I was hurting these past few months and that I was hoping we could get along as coworkers. Then I sent him another email that it was best that we didn't talk and that he should leave me alone and let me do my job. How can I move past this and get out and get some friends and a boyfriend? All I do is work and go to school, but I feel if I were getting out with people. This would be easier to deal with.
Sometimes he looks at me weird, so I don't know how he's feeling. How should I get over my anger?How should I get over my anger?
You're angry? How do you think he feels? You keep sending him mixed signals, how is he supposed to know what you expect of him? One minute you're all over him and the next you don't want anything to do with him, then you want to be friends, then you don't want to talk anymore. Have you taken any time to consider how that makes him feel? I suggest you just let it go, no more emailing or anything. You have no reason to be angry, from what you said he didn't do anything wrong (except possibly cheating on his GF if he had one at the time, but that's not your concern).
Sometimes he looks at me weird, so I don't know how he's feeling. How should I get over my anger?How should I get over my anger?
You're angry? How do you think he feels? You keep sending him mixed signals, how is he supposed to know what you expect of him? One minute you're all over him and the next you don't want anything to do with him, then you want to be friends, then you don't want to talk anymore. Have you taken any time to consider how that makes him feel? I suggest you just let it go, no more emailing or anything. You have no reason to be angry, from what you said he didn't do anything wrong (except possibly cheating on his GF if he had one at the time, but that's not your concern).
What should I do to deal with this?
What should I do to deal with this?
I had hooked up with a coworker since I did feel a little attracted to him. We never actually had sex but we touched, caressed, and we would have dry sex. You know he would rub his private against mine. The thing is I've never been sexual with or even kissed a guy. So maybe there is something wrong with me. Anyway back in November, I emailed him telling him that this FWB is over and that I would tell HR on him if he ever suggested hooking up. Since November, I've been ignoring him completely no hello nada. Since I was so mad and hurt. Last month he went out of the country, I was actually relieved that he was gone, but then he came back last week and I kept ignoring him until yesterday. Yesterday, I saw him in the kitchen and he said hello, you know like a mechanical/ break the ice hello and I smiled and said hello and that was it. I felt completely at ease. This morning, I ran into him and said hello and he didn't say anything. I emailed him saying that I was hoping we could be on speaking terms since yesterday I felt at ease with speaking to him. He ignored my email. He actually didn't bother to open it and looked at me like a freak. I personally confronted him and he was like fine. As the afternoon progressed, I did a lot of walking by passing his desk, but I didn't bother to talk to him since I was working. As I was walking back and he was leaving he gave me a somewhat dirty rude look. I personally thought that was rude and I sent him an email stating that I thought him looking at me funny was rude and that I was hurting these past few months and that I was hoping we could get along as coworkers. Then I sent him another email that it was best that we didn't talk and that he should leave me alone and let me do my job. How can I move past this and get out and get some friends and a boyfriend? All I do is work and go to school, but I feel if I were getting out with people. This would be easier to deal with.What should I do to deal with this?
he has every right to give you a dirty look because your acting neurotic . first you get all touchy feely with him and you didn't seem to have a problem then you turn on him in a vicious manner by telling him to stay away and threatening to tell HR . so then he backs off and agrees to your wishes because he see's you as unstable and wishy washy in your feelings. and now you break your own wishes by texting him and stalking his presence at the office hoping to get a rise out of him . he should report you to HR for now harassing him .basically you should stay away from him, you tell him to stay away in a threatening manor then you text him and bother him what do you expect. he thinks your crazy and he should stay way far away from you and i suggest you see a therapist. to get a handle on your actionsdry hands website hosting
I had hooked up with a coworker since I did feel a little attracted to him. We never actually had sex but we touched, caressed, and we would have dry sex. You know he would rub his private against mine. The thing is I've never been sexual with or even kissed a guy. So maybe there is something wrong with me. Anyway back in November, I emailed him telling him that this FWB is over and that I would tell HR on him if he ever suggested hooking up. Since November, I've been ignoring him completely no hello nada. Since I was so mad and hurt. Last month he went out of the country, I was actually relieved that he was gone, but then he came back last week and I kept ignoring him until yesterday. Yesterday, I saw him in the kitchen and he said hello, you know like a mechanical/ break the ice hello and I smiled and said hello and that was it. I felt completely at ease. This morning, I ran into him and said hello and he didn't say anything. I emailed him saying that I was hoping we could be on speaking terms since yesterday I felt at ease with speaking to him. He ignored my email. He actually didn't bother to open it and looked at me like a freak. I personally confronted him and he was like fine. As the afternoon progressed, I did a lot of walking by passing his desk, but I didn't bother to talk to him since I was working. As I was walking back and he was leaving he gave me a somewhat dirty rude look. I personally thought that was rude and I sent him an email stating that I thought him looking at me funny was rude and that I was hurting these past few months and that I was hoping we could get along as coworkers. Then I sent him another email that it was best that we didn't talk and that he should leave me alone and let me do my job. How can I move past this and get out and get some friends and a boyfriend? All I do is work and go to school, but I feel if I were getting out with people. This would be easier to deal with.What should I do to deal with this?
he has every right to give you a dirty look because your acting neurotic . first you get all touchy feely with him and you didn't seem to have a problem then you turn on him in a vicious manner by telling him to stay away and threatening to tell HR . so then he backs off and agrees to your wishes because he see's you as unstable and wishy washy in your feelings. and now you break your own wishes by texting him and stalking his presence at the office hoping to get a rise out of him . he should report you to HR for now harassing him .basically you should stay away from him, you tell him to stay away in a threatening manor then you text him and bother him what do you expect. he thinks your crazy and he should stay way far away from you and i suggest you see a therapist. to get a handle on your actions
How should I let go of this?
I had hooked up with a coworker since I did feel a little attracted to him. Supposedly he has a gf but I don't know. We never actually had sex but we touched, caressed, and we would have dry sex. You know he would rub his private against mine. The thing is I've never been sexual with or even kissed a guy. So maybe there is something wrong with me. Anyway back in November, I emailed him telling him that this FWB is over and that I would tell HR on him if he ever suggested hooking up. Since November, I've been ignoring him completely no hello nada. Since I was so mad and hurt. Last month he went out of the country, I was actually relieved that he was gone, but then he came back last week and I kept ignoring him until yesterday. Yesterday, I saw him in the kitchen and he said hello, you know like a mechanical/ break the ice hello and I smiled and said hello and that was it. I felt completely at ease. This morning, I ran into him and said hello and he didn't say anything. I emailed him saying that I was hoping we could be on speaking terms since yesterday I felt at ease with speaking to him. He ignored my email. He actually didn't bother to open it and looked at me like a freak. I personally confronted him and he was like fine. As the afternoon progressed, I did a lot of walking by passing his desk, but I didn't bother to talk to him since I was working. As I was walking back and he was leaving he gave me a somewhat dirty rude look. I personally thought that was rude and I sent him an email stating that I thought him looking at me funny was rude and that I was hurting these past few months and that I was hoping we could get along as coworkers. Then I sent him another email that it was best that we didn't talk and that he should leave me alone and let me do my job. How can I move past this and get out and get some friends and a boyfriend? All I do is work and go to school, but I feel if I were getting out with people. This would be easier to deal with.
Sometimes he looks at me weird, so I don't know how he's feeling.How should I let go of this?
First off, not to be an irritant to this situation, but you shouldn't get involved with someone you are working with. It normally ruins your job situation, and can cause problems with the objective of even keeping the job.
Second, it's best you just ignore the situation and find something else to look forwards too. You really don't want to be dealing with a false-love that probably has no chance of existing.
Basically, just go back to work like usual as if neither of you ever did have anything remotely sexual going on.How should I let go of this?
I already told you. LEAVE HIM ALONE. He wants to keep his job and you threw in his face that you will get him fired. SO STOP BOTHERING HIM. LET HIM WORK AND LIVE HIS LIFE.
Wanting to know how he feels has been answered in his response to you. It seems you want to keep this thing going with him as you have not fully gotten over the short relationship. Once you come to the realization it is over then and only then can you move on to another relationship. Your lack of self confidence will lead you down the wrong path again if you're not sure of who you are and what you want from a relationship. Getting friends has nothing to do with this sitiuation and before looking for a boyfriend, you should first clear your mind of this issue fully. You deserve to be happy but it begins from you...
Sometimes he looks at me weird, so I don't know how he's feeling.How should I let go of this?
First off, not to be an irritant to this situation, but you shouldn't get involved with someone you are working with. It normally ruins your job situation, and can cause problems with the objective of even keeping the job.
Second, it's best you just ignore the situation and find something else to look forwards too. You really don't want to be dealing with a false-love that probably has no chance of existing.
Basically, just go back to work like usual as if neither of you ever did have anything remotely sexual going on.How should I let go of this?
I already told you. LEAVE HIM ALONE. He wants to keep his job and you threw in his face that you will get him fired. SO STOP BOTHERING HIM. LET HIM WORK AND LIVE HIS LIFE.
Wanting to know how he feels has been answered in his response to you. It seems you want to keep this thing going with him as you have not fully gotten over the short relationship. Once you come to the realization it is over then and only then can you move on to another relationship. Your lack of self confidence will lead you down the wrong path again if you're not sure of who you are and what you want from a relationship. Getting friends has nothing to do with this sitiuation and before looking for a boyfriend, you should first clear your mind of this issue fully. You deserve to be happy but it begins from you...
What should I do to deal with this?
I had hooked up with a coworker since I did feel a little attracted to him. We never actually had sex but we touched, caressed, and we would have dry sex. You know he would rub his private against mine. The thing is I've never been sexual with or even kissed a guy. So maybe there is something wrong with me. Anyway back in November, I emailed him telling him that this FWB is over and that I would tell HR on him if he ever suggested hooking up. Since November, I've been ignoring him completely no hello nada. Since I was so mad and hurt. Last month he went out of the country, I was actually relieved that he was gone, but then he came back last week and I kept ignoring him until yesterday. Yesterday, I saw him in the kitchen and he said hello, you know like a mechanical/ break the ice hello and I smiled and said hello and that was it. I felt completely at ease. This morning, I ran into him and said hello and he didn't say anything. I emailed him saying that I was hoping we could be on speaking terms since yesterday I felt at ease with speaking to him. He ignored my email. He actually didn't bother to open it and looked at me like a freak. I personally confronted him and he was like fine. As the afternoon progressed, I did a lot of walking by passing his desk, but I didn't bother to talk to him since I was working. As I was walking back and he was leaving he gave me a somewhat dirty rude look. I personally thought that was rude and I sent him an email stating that I thought him looking at me funny was rude and that I was hurting these past few months and that I was hoping we could get along as coworkers. Then I sent him another email that it was best that we didn't talk and that he should leave me alone and let me do my job. How can I move past this and get out and get some friends and a boyfriend? All I do is work and go to school, but I feel if I were getting out with people. This would be easier to deal with.What should I do to deal with this?
He is wayyyyyy ahead of you. Stop communicating with the guy. Obviously he doesn't want to have anything to do with you if he wont speak to/return your emails. He's doing you a favor, just STOP trying to communicate with him. You probably upset him by making the threat of ratting him out to HR and that is why he will not speak with you. I am not saying that that was a bad thing to do. However, you could have handled the situation in a more professional way. Act indifferent towards him, ignore him, and LET IT GO! you'll get over it in no time.What should I do to deal with this?
i would give you funny looks too.
tell me to leave you alone, tell me you want to be friends.
just leave him alone.
I think you're a little trigger happy with your texting. By the sounds of things your feelings were mutual at the beginning, I'm not sure your motivation for threatening him with HR like he's sexually harassing you -- I wouldn't be too happy about that. So you like him, you don't, you're ignoring him, you're not, and then you want to ignore him again....What is the guy supposed to feel other than confused and annoyed? Walk away from this mess and start fresh with someone else and play it straight this time.
He is wayyyyyy ahead of you. Stop communicating with the guy. Obviously he doesn't want to have anything to do with you if he wont speak to/return your emails. He's doing you a favor, just STOP trying to communicate with him. You probably upset him by making the threat of ratting him out to HR and that is why he will not speak with you. I am not saying that that was a bad thing to do. However, you could have handled the situation in a more professional way. Act indifferent towards him, ignore him, and LET IT GO! you'll get over it in no time.What should I do to deal with this?
i would give you funny looks too.
tell me to leave you alone, tell me you want to be friends.
just leave him alone.
I think you're a little trigger happy with your texting. By the sounds of things your feelings were mutual at the beginning, I'm not sure your motivation for threatening him with HR like he's sexually harassing you -- I wouldn't be too happy about that. So you like him, you don't, you're ignoring him, you're not, and then you want to ignore him again....What is the guy supposed to feel other than confused and annoyed? Walk away from this mess and start fresh with someone else and play it straight this time.
How do I get revenge on this guy?
How do I get revenge on this guy?
This coworker and I have been doing intimate(sexual things). Although, never had intercourse. We are not in a relationship, though I have deep feelings for him. He has a gf overseas.I also see him flirting with another girl who works at the office and I instantly get jealous. Also, the last time we hooked up was before New Year's 2009, after we hooked up, he told me he hopes I get a bf this year and that things work out for me since I told him I was going to see a counselor. Last week I wrote him a letter that I was hurt and angry and that I was going to mention it to my counselor, I will see her at the end of the month. Then last Thursday, I emailed him saying that I wasn't hurt and angry and that I hoped we could get along as coworkers. He didn't respond back and he didn't say anything to me. What should I do?How do I get revenge on this guy?
Honestly, it sounds like you're being a little immature. If you really see yourself as something more than just a booty call, you may be naive as well. You need to realize that you are part of the problem. Having deep feelings for this guy and wanting to get revenge do not go hand-in-hand. It is obvious that he is not interested in a relationship with you as he flirts with other women. If you truly want to get back at him, stop sucking him off.How do I get revenge on this guy?
go flirt with the guy some more....or find another guy
Forget about him and find another guy
This coworker and I have been doing intimate(sexual things). Although, never had intercourse. We are not in a relationship, though I have deep feelings for him. He has a gf overseas.I also see him flirting with another girl who works at the office and I instantly get jealous. Also, the last time we hooked up was before New Year's 2009, after we hooked up, he told me he hopes I get a bf this year and that things work out for me since I told him I was going to see a counselor. Last week I wrote him a letter that I was hurt and angry and that I was going to mention it to my counselor, I will see her at the end of the month. Then last Thursday, I emailed him saying that I wasn't hurt and angry and that I hoped we could get along as coworkers. He didn't respond back and he didn't say anything to me. What should I do?How do I get revenge on this guy?
Honestly, it sounds like you're being a little immature. If you really see yourself as something more than just a booty call, you may be naive as well. You need to realize that you are part of the problem. Having deep feelings for this guy and wanting to get revenge do not go hand-in-hand. It is obvious that he is not interested in a relationship with you as he flirts with other women. If you truly want to get back at him, stop sucking him off.How do I get revenge on this guy?
go flirt with the guy some more....or find another guy
Forget about him and find another guy
How should I let go of this?
I had hooked up with a coworker since I did feel a little attracted to him. Supposedly he has a gf but I don't know. We never actually had sex but we touched, caressed, and we would have dry sex. You know he would rub his private against mine. The thing is I've never been sexual with or even kissed a guy. So maybe there is something wrong with me. Anyway back in November, I emailed him telling him that this FWB is over and that I would tell HR on him if he ever suggested hooking up. Since November, I've been ignoring him completely no hello nada. Since I was so mad and hurt. Last month he went out of the country, I was actually relieved that he was gone, but then he came back last week and I kept ignoring him until yesterday. Yesterday, I saw him in the kitchen and he said hello, you know like a mechanical/ break the ice hello and I smiled and said hello and that was it. I felt completely at ease. This morning, I ran into him and said hello and he didn't say anything. I emailed him saying that I was hoping we could be on speaking terms since yesterday I felt at ease with speaking to him. He ignored my email. He actually didn't bother to open it and looked at me like a freak. I personally confronted him and he was like fine. As the afternoon progressed, I did a lot of walking by passing his desk, but I didn't bother to talk to him since I was working. As I was walking back and he was leaving he gave me a somewhat dirty rude look. I personally thought that was rude and I sent him an email stating that I thought him looking at me funny was rude and that I was hurting these past few months and that I was hoping we could get along as coworkers. Then I sent him another email that it was best that we didn't talk and that he should leave me alone and let me do my job. How can I move past this and get out and get some friends and a boyfriend? All I do is work and go to school, but I feel if I were getting out with people. This would be easier to deal with.
Sometimes he looks at me weird, so I don't know how he's feeling.How should I let go of this?
You need to back up from him. What you are doing is a little much. It sounds like he wants some space and does not want to be anything more than people who faintly smile as they pass each other in the hallway. You do sound like you need to get out. Maybe you can join a group so that you can make some friends. Or volunteer somewhere that you can communicate with people in your community. Can you hang out with your family? Other than that, you let go of this by reviewing what has already happened. Based on his actions, he doesn't want to talk, so just move on to something better.How should I let go of this?
You threatened his JOB. His livelihood. You told him that you will get him fired. He wants NOTHING to do with you. Leave him alone. He has a job in this horrible job-market, and he wants to keep it. PLEASE stop talking to him and leave him alone. Your e-mail alone about threatening to go to HR is enough to get him fired. LEAVE HIM ALONE.
you didn't explain why you were hurt... you were hurt because he has a gf? The fact that you guys didnt speak for months and then you immediately write him a ton of emails after he breaks the ice probably weirded him out. It seems you went a little too far with the threatening him with HR and then all of a sudden after he breaks the ice you try to go back to everything being normal... you should have given it some time, given it a few more awkward hello's in the break room before you contacted him by email.
my advice, try to move on... stop thinking about him because you are only going to hurt yourself more. Hang out with friends on your spare time... i know how difficult it is to find that spare time when you are doing both school and a job, but it is doable.
Good luck!
Also if you dont mind, I've posted a question, and i keep getting stupid answers from people... would you possibly have insight on my question? obviously you are not obliged to answer, but what is the harm in asking right? http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;
Take care and good luck!
Sometimes he looks at me weird, so I don't know how he's feeling.How should I let go of this?
You need to back up from him. What you are doing is a little much. It sounds like he wants some space and does not want to be anything more than people who faintly smile as they pass each other in the hallway. You do sound like you need to get out. Maybe you can join a group so that you can make some friends. Or volunteer somewhere that you can communicate with people in your community. Can you hang out with your family? Other than that, you let go of this by reviewing what has already happened. Based on his actions, he doesn't want to talk, so just move on to something better.How should I let go of this?
You threatened his JOB. His livelihood. You told him that you will get him fired. He wants NOTHING to do with you. Leave him alone. He has a job in this horrible job-market, and he wants to keep it. PLEASE stop talking to him and leave him alone. Your e-mail alone about threatening to go to HR is enough to get him fired. LEAVE HIM ALONE.
you didn't explain why you were hurt... you were hurt because he has a gf? The fact that you guys didnt speak for months and then you immediately write him a ton of emails after he breaks the ice probably weirded him out. It seems you went a little too far with the threatening him with HR and then all of a sudden after he breaks the ice you try to go back to everything being normal... you should have given it some time, given it a few more awkward hello's in the break room before you contacted him by email.
my advice, try to move on... stop thinking about him because you are only going to hurt yourself more. Hang out with friends on your spare time... i know how difficult it is to find that spare time when you are doing both school and a job, but it is doable.
Good luck!
Also if you dont mind, I've posted a question, and i keep getting stupid answers from people... would you possibly have insight on my question? obviously you are not obliged to answer, but what is the harm in asking right? http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;
Take care and good luck!
What should I do to deal with this?
I had hooked up with a coworker since I did feel a little attracted to him. We never actually had sex but we touched, caressed, and we would have dry sex. You know he would rub his private against mine. The thing is I've never been sexual with or even kissed a guy. So maybe there is something wrong with me. Anyway back in November, I emailed him telling him that this FWB is over and that I would tell HR on him if he ever suggested hooking up. Since November, I've been ignoring him completely no hello nada. Since I was so mad and hurt. Last month he went out of the country, I was actually relieved that he was gone, but then he came back last week and I kept ignoring him until yesterday. Yesterday, I saw him in the kitchen and he said hello, you know like a mechanical/ break the ice hello and I smiled and said hello and that was it. I felt completely at ease. This morning, I ran into him and said hello and he didn't say anything. I emailed him saying that I was hoping we could be on speaking terms since yesterday I felt at ease with speaking to him. He ignored my email. He actually didn't bother to open it and looked at me like a freak. I personally confronted him and he was like fine. As the afternoon progressed, I did a lot of walking by passing his desk, but I didn't bother to talk to him since I was working. As I was walking back and he was leaving he gave me a somewhat dirty rude look. I personally thought that was rude and I sent him an email stating that I thought him looking at me funny was rude and that I was hurting these past few months and that I was hoping we could get along as coworkers. Then I sent him another email that it was best that we didn't talk and that he should leave me alone and let me do my job. How can I move past this and get out and get some friends and a boyfriend? All I do is work and go to school, but I feel if I were getting out with people. This would be easier to deal with.What should I do to deal with this?
Do you not realize that you had threatened him into sexual harassment?! No wonder he doesn't talk to you. You are quite lucky that he gave you a friendly hello but instead of slipping the nod off your shoulder, you thought that was your cue to push him. I'm not on his side either, but you shouldn't be bugging him about how he doesn't talk to you anymore, and then tell him to leave you alone because he gave you a dirty glance. He shouldn't have anything to even do with your private life anymore, so just move on already! he's not even talking to you.What should I do to deal with this?
be yourself
answer my question?
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?what is web hosting hair coloring
Do you not realize that you had threatened him into sexual harassment?! No wonder he doesn't talk to you. You are quite lucky that he gave you a friendly hello but instead of slipping the nod off your shoulder, you thought that was your cue to push him. I'm not on his side either, but you shouldn't be bugging him about how he doesn't talk to you anymore, and then tell him to leave you alone because he gave you a dirty glance. He shouldn't have anything to even do with your private life anymore, so just move on already! he's not even talking to you.What should I do to deal with this?
be yourself
answer my question?
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?
How do I get revenge on this guy?
How do I get revenge on this guy?
This coworker and I have been doing intimate(sexual things). Although, never had intercourse. We are not in a relationship, though I have deep feelings for him. He has a gf overseas.I also see him flirting with another girl who works at the office and I instantly get jealous. Also, the last time we hooked up was before New Year's 2009, after we hooked up, he told me he hopes I get a bf this year and that things work out for me since I told him I was going to see a counselor. Last week I wrote him a letter that I was hurt and angry and that I was going to mention it to my counselor, I will see her at the end of the month. Then last Thursday, I emailed him saying that I wasn't hurt and angry and that I hoped we could get along as coworkers. He didn't respond back and he didn't say anything to me. What should I do?How do I get revenge on this guy?
didnt respond??he dosent care for you move on. save yrself some timeHow do I get revenge on this guy?
Why would you want revenge? You aren't dating, you are overly flirting. He wants to move on, this is normal behavior. Get over it and move on too,
This may sound harsh, but if u think he's a jerk, take a look in the mirror. Get a grip. He's only after any girl for his own pleasure. Forget him. If sex is your only means of ';holding'; a guy, then most girls would have their first relationship forever...you've been had... just keep in mind, he's NOT worth it...... Hope your counselor can help!!
This coworker and I have been doing intimate(sexual things). Although, never had intercourse. We are not in a relationship, though I have deep feelings for him. He has a gf overseas.I also see him flirting with another girl who works at the office and I instantly get jealous. Also, the last time we hooked up was before New Year's 2009, after we hooked up, he told me he hopes I get a bf this year and that things work out for me since I told him I was going to see a counselor. Last week I wrote him a letter that I was hurt and angry and that I was going to mention it to my counselor, I will see her at the end of the month. Then last Thursday, I emailed him saying that I wasn't hurt and angry and that I hoped we could get along as coworkers. He didn't respond back and he didn't say anything to me. What should I do?How do I get revenge on this guy?
didnt respond??he dosent care for you move on. save yrself some timeHow do I get revenge on this guy?
Why would you want revenge? You aren't dating, you are overly flirting. He wants to move on, this is normal behavior. Get over it and move on too,
This may sound harsh, but if u think he's a jerk, take a look in the mirror. Get a grip. He's only after any girl for his own pleasure. Forget him. If sex is your only means of ';holding'; a guy, then most girls would have their first relationship forever...you've been had... just keep in mind, he's NOT worth it...... Hope your counselor can help!!
How do I move on from this?
I had hooked up with a coworker since I did feel a little attracted to him. Supposedly he has a gf but I don't know. We never actually had sex but we touched, caressed, and we would have dry sex. You know he would rub his private against mine. The thing is I've never been sexual with or even kissed a guy. So maybe there is something wrong with me. Anyway back in November, I emailed him telling him that this FWB is over and that I would tell HR on him if he ever suggested hooking up. Since November, I've been ignoring him completely no hello nada. Since I was so mad and hurt. Last month he went out of the country, I was actually relieved that he was gone, but then he came back last week and I kept ignoring him until yesterday. Yesterday, I saw him in the kitchen and he said hello, you know like a mechanical/ break the ice hello and I smiled and said hello and that was it. I felt completely at ease. This morning, I ran into him and said hello and he didn't say anything. I emailed him saying that I was hoping we could be on speaking terms since yesterday I felt at ease with speaking to him. He ignored my email. He actually didn't bother to open it and looked at me like a freak. I personally confronted him and he was like fine. As the afternoon progressed, I did a lot of walking by passing his desk, but I didn't bother to talk to him since I was working. As I was walking back and he was leaving he gave me a somewhat dirty rude look. I personally thought that was rude and I sent him an email stating that I thought him looking at me funny was rude and that I was hurting these past few months and that I was hoping we could get along as coworkers. Then I sent him another email that it was best that we didn't talk and that he should leave me alone and let me do my job. How can I move past this and get out and get some friends and a boyfriend? All I do is work and go to school, but I feel if I were getting out with people. This would be easier to deal with.How do I move on from this?
by now he probably thinks youre crazy because he gets an email every time he looks at you. Just leave the guy alone and stop walking past his desk looking for something. Why you have no friends, I dont know so I cant help you there.How do I move on from this?
OMG...what is wrong with you? you get with this guy, then you reject him, then you get all upset that he is being rude to you?! are you like...12 years old?
Grow up %26amp; stop being a child. You thinking into too much %26amp; stop sending stupid ';why'; emails to the poor guy.
I'll tell you how to get over him: go %26amp; apologies to him about your behaviour then get on with your life.
by now he probably thinks youre crazy because he gets an email every time he looks at you. Just leave the guy alone and stop walking past his desk looking for something. Why you have no friends, I dont know so I cant help you there.How do I move on from this?
OMG...what is wrong with you? you get with this guy, then you reject him, then you get all upset that he is being rude to you?! are you like...12 years old?
Grow up %26amp; stop being a child. You thinking into too much %26amp; stop sending stupid ';why'; emails to the poor guy.
I'll tell you how to get over him: go %26amp; apologies to him about your behaviour then get on with your life.
How should I get over my anger?
I had hooked up with a coworker since I did feel a little attracted to him. Supposedly he has a gf but I don't know. We never actually had sex but we touched, caressed, and we would have dry sex. You know he would rub his private against mine. The thing is I've never been sexual with or even kissed a guy. So maybe there is something wrong with me. Anyway back in November, I emailed him telling him that this FWB is over and that I would tell HR on him if he ever suggested hooking up. Since November, I've been ignoring him completely no hello nada. Since I was so mad and hurt. Last month he went out of the country, I was actually relieved that he was gone, but then he came back last week and I kept ignoring him until yesterday. Yesterday, I saw him in the kitchen and he said hello, you know like a mechanical/ break the ice hello and I smiled and said hello and that was it. I felt completely at ease. This morning, I ran into him and said hello and he didn't say anything. I emailed him saying that I was hoping we could be on speaking terms since yesterday I felt at ease with speaking to him. He ignored my email. He actually didn't bother to open it and looked at me like a freak. I personally confronted him and he was like fine. As the afternoon progressed, I did a lot of walking by passing his desk, but I didn't bother to talk to him since I was working. As I was walking back and he was leaving he gave me a somewhat dirty rude look. I personally thought that was rude and I sent him an email stating that I thought him looking at me funny was rude and that I was hurting these past few months and that I was hoping we could get along as coworkers. Then I sent him another email that it was best that we didn't talk and that he should leave me alone and let me do my job. How can I move past this and get out and get some friends and a boyfriend? All I do is work and go to school, but I feel if I were getting out with people. This would be easier to deal with.
Sometimes he looks at me weird, so I don't know how he's feeling. How should I get over my anger?How should I get over my anger?
Forget about it and move on! Remember the population of males on Earth is over 3 billion. about 1 billion should be in a date-worthy age for you. Even if 99.99% are taken or worthless jerks, that still leaves about 100,000 qualified males for you. If you know what you are looking for, you should be able to find one soon!
Sometimes he looks at me weird, so I don't know how he's feeling. How should I get over my anger?How should I get over my anger?
Forget about it and move on! Remember the population of males on Earth is over 3 billion. about 1 billion should be in a date-worthy age for you. Even if 99.99% are taken or worthless jerks, that still leaves about 100,000 qualified males for you. If you know what you are looking for, you should be able to find one soon!
What should I do about this?
I had hooked up with a coworker since I did feel a little attracted to him. We never actually had sex but we touched, caressed, and we would have dry sex. You know he would rub his private against mine. The thing is I've never been sexual with or even kissed a guy. So maybe there is something wrong with me. Anyway back in November, I emailed him telling him that this FWB is over and that I would tell HR on him if he ever suggested hooking up. Since November, I've been ignoring him completely no hello nada. Since I was so mad and hurt. Last month he went out of the country, I was actually relieved that he was gone, but then he came back last week and I kept ignoring him until yesterday. Yesterday, I saw him in the kitchen and he said hello, you know like a mechanical/ break the ice hello and I smiled and said hello and that was it. I felt completely at ease. This morning, I ran into him and said hello and he didn't say anything. I emailed him saying that I was hoping we could be on speaking terms since yesterday I felt at ease with speaking to him. He ignored my email. He actually didn't bother to open it and looked at me like a freak. I personally confronted him and he was like fine. As the afternoon progressed, I did a lot of walking by passing his desk, but I didn't bother to talk to him since I was working. As I was walking back and he was leaving he gave me a somewhat dirty rude look. I personally thought that was rude and I sent him an email stating that I thought him looking at me funny was rude and that I was hurting these past few months and that I was hoping we could get along as coworkers. Then I sent him another email that it was best that we didn't talk and that he should leave me alone and let me do my job. How can I move past this and get out and get some friends and a boyfriend? All I do is work and go to school, but I feel if I were getting out with people. This would be easier to deal with.What should I do about this?
Well, stop emailing him all dis stuff bout all these feelings. it's jus confusing and contradictory. so just try to keep away from him and be friends with other people. that way you can just forget bout wutever went down between you guys and hang with others and now you can know how you want to act around certain people (like, you will know who you want to hook up wit for sure and not just jump aroundd).
Well, stop emailing him all dis stuff bout all these feelings. it's jus confusing and contradictory. so just try to keep away from him and be friends with other people. that way you can just forget bout wutever went down between you guys and hang with others and now you can know how you want to act around certain people (like, you will know who you want to hook up wit for sure and not just jump aroundd).
How do I get myself out of this mess?
This coworker and I have been doing intimate(sexual things). Although, never had intercourse. We are not in a relationship, though I have deep feelings for him. He has a gf overseas.I also see him flirting with another girl who works at the office and I instantly get jealous. Also, the last time we hooked up was before New Year's 2009, after we hooked up, he told me he hopes I get a bf this year and that things work out for me since I told him I was going to see a counselor. Last week I wrote him a letter that I was hurt and angry and that I was going to mention it to my counselor, I will see her at the end of the month. Then last Thursday, I emailed him saying that I wasn't hurt and angry and that I hoped we could get along as coworkers. He didn't respond back and he didn't say anything to me. What should I do?How do I get myself out of this mess?
Ignore him. Plain and simple. I'm not saying be rude, just act as if NOTHING has EVER happened between the two of you. Walk around with you head high and nose in the air. CONFIDENCE IS THE KEY!!!
Act as if he has a penis growing out of his forehead. LOL! SERIOUSLY THOUGH IT WORKS. It will make you laugh to yourself causing you to have some sort of grin on your face every time you see him... This will make him wonder whats going on and will more than likely ask what's up with you. That is IF he has some sort of feelings towards you. If he doesn't ask, then he probably doesn't have any feelings... Then you can move on..
Hope this helps.remove stubborn adware cute haircut for thin hair
Ignore him. Plain and simple. I'm not saying be rude, just act as if NOTHING has EVER happened between the two of you. Walk around with you head high and nose in the air. CONFIDENCE IS THE KEY!!!
Act as if he has a penis growing out of his forehead. LOL! SERIOUSLY THOUGH IT WORKS. It will make you laugh to yourself causing you to have some sort of grin on your face every time you see him... This will make him wonder whats going on and will more than likely ask what's up with you. That is IF he has some sort of feelings towards you. If he doesn't ask, then he probably doesn't have any feelings... Then you can move on..
Hope this helps.
How should I get over my anger?
I had hooked up with a coworker since I did feel a little attracted to him. Supposedly he has a gf but I don't know. We never actually had sex but we touched, caressed, and we would have dry sex. You know he would rub his private against mine. The thing is I've never been sexual with or even kissed a guy. So maybe there is something wrong with me. Anyway back in November, I emailed him telling him that this FWB is over and that I would tell HR on him if he ever suggested hooking up. Since November, I've been ignoring him completely no hello nada. Since I was so mad and hurt. Last month he went out of the country, I was actually relieved that he was gone, but then he came back last week and I kept ignoring him until yesterday. Yesterday, I saw him in the kitchen and he said hello, you know like a mechanical/ break the ice hello and I smiled and said hello and that was it. I felt completely at ease. This morning, I ran into him and said hello and he didn't say anything. I emailed him saying that I was hoping we could be on speaking terms since yesterday I felt at ease with speaking to him. He ignored my email. He actually didn't bother to open it and looked at me like a freak. I personally confronted him and he was like fine. As the afternoon progressed, I did a lot of walking by passing his desk, but I didn't bother to talk to him since I was working. As I was walking back and he was leaving he gave me a somewhat dirty rude look. I personally thought that was rude and I sent him an email stating that I thought him looking at me funny was rude and that I was hurting these past few months and that I was hoping we could get along as coworkers. Then I sent him another email that it was best that we didn't talk and that he should leave me alone and let me do my job. How can I move past this and get out and get some friends and a boyfriend? All I do is work and go to school, but I feel if I were getting out with people. This would be easier to deal with.
Sometimes he looks at me weird, so I don't know how he's feeling. How should I get over my anger?How should I get over my anger?
i didnt read the whole question , just the heading.
the best way to control ur anger is , just think how we have been created.
just imagine, we are created from semen of a man which comes from penis, the dirty place, the mothers womb is also not a good place, when we are born, we have a dirty skin, eeuuuhhhh. we have a dirt bag 'anus' attached with us which stores the wastes of us %26amp; we cant even separate that part from ourselves.
in a big picture, we are so helpless against nature. we should not be angry at all. if u would think from my side , u ll see at what place we are.
Sometimes he looks at me weird, so I don't know how he's feeling. How should I get over my anger?How should I get over my anger?
i didnt read the whole question , just the heading.
the best way to control ur anger is , just think how we have been created.
just imagine, we are created from semen of a man which comes from penis, the dirty place, the mothers womb is also not a good place, when we are born, we have a dirty skin, eeuuuhhhh. we have a dirt bag 'anus' attached with us which stores the wastes of us %26amp; we cant even separate that part from ourselves.
in a big picture, we are so helpless against nature. we should not be angry at all. if u would think from my side , u ll see at what place we are.
What should I do about this?
I had hooked up with a coworker since I did feel a little attracted to him. We never actually had sex but we touched, caressed, and we would have dry sex. You know he would rub his private against mine. The thing is I've never been sexual with or even kissed a guy. So maybe there is something wrong with me. Anyway back in November, I emailed him telling him that this FWB is over and that I would tell HR on him if he ever suggested hooking up. Since November, I've been ignoring him completely no hello nada. Since I was so mad and hurt. Last month he went out of the country, I was actually relieved that he was gone, but then he came back last week and I kept ignoring him until yesterday. Yesterday, I saw him in the kitchen and he said hello, you know like a mechanical/ break the ice hello and I smiled and said hello and that was it. I felt completely at ease. This morning, I ran into him and said hello and he didn't say anything. I emailed him saying that I was hoping we could be on speaking terms since yesterday I felt at ease with speaking to him. He ignored my email. He actually didn't bother to open it and looked at me like a freak. I personally confronted him and he was like fine. As the afternoon progressed, I did a lot of walking by passing his desk, but I didn't bother to talk to him since I was working. As I was walking back and he was leaving he gave me a somewhat dirty rude look. I personally thought that was rude and I sent him an email stating that I thought him looking at me funny was rude and that I was hurting these past few months and that I was hoping we could get along as coworkers. Then I sent him another email that it was best that we didn't talk and that he should leave me alone and let me do my job. How can I move past this and get out and get some friends and a boyfriend? All I do is work and go to school, but I feel if I were getting out with people. This would be easier to deal with.What should I do about this?
I'm not trying to be rude, but this guy was probably into you, not just into wanting to have sex with you, he tried to reconnect with you, you can't always get what you want when you want it, sometimes it has to go their way too, and you cutting connections and him returning is not how it is supose to work he feels probably hurt that you would do that too him, and he's just doing this now because he doesn't want a repeat of what had happened.What should I do about this?
:-) COME OVER TO MY HOUSE WE CAN PLAY AND HANG OUT AND TALK ANOUT WHATEVER POPS UP!!!!!! :-)
Well, get out there, and talk to people. From Work (other people work there too..), School, etc. Also, you might have some old friends, or whatever, get in touch with them. The Best thing to do is to simply avoid this guy, just let things go. He's probably upset at you, for not talking to him for months, and suddenly wanting to be okay, and then to not interfering. Think about how you feel,first, then deal with this.
Go to a club with some friends whener your not busy
I absolutely 100% guarantee he thinks you are a complete PSYCHO. If I were you I would leave him alone before he reports you for harassment.
I take it to be that you dont know what you want.. How do you expect him to open his arms, waiting for you after what you did.. Surely, he aint happy with you.. But hey, what's done is done %26amp; life goes on...
I'm not trying to be rude, but this guy was probably into you, not just into wanting to have sex with you, he tried to reconnect with you, you can't always get what you want when you want it, sometimes it has to go their way too, and you cutting connections and him returning is not how it is supose to work he feels probably hurt that you would do that too him, and he's just doing this now because he doesn't want a repeat of what had happened.What should I do about this?
:-) COME OVER TO MY HOUSE WE CAN PLAY AND HANG OUT AND TALK ANOUT WHATEVER POPS UP!!!!!! :-)
Well, get out there, and talk to people. From Work (other people work there too..), School, etc. Also, you might have some old friends, or whatever, get in touch with them. The Best thing to do is to simply avoid this guy, just let things go. He's probably upset at you, for not talking to him for months, and suddenly wanting to be okay, and then to not interfering. Think about how you feel,first, then deal with this.
Go to a club with some friends whener your not busy
I absolutely 100% guarantee he thinks you are a complete PSYCHO. If I were you I would leave him alone before he reports you for harassment.
I take it to be that you dont know what you want.. How do you expect him to open his arms, waiting for you after what you did.. Surely, he aint happy with you.. But hey, what's done is done %26amp; life goes on...
How do I get myself out of this emotional turmoil?
How do I get myself out of this emotional turmoil?
with feelings I have for a coworker. This coworker and I have been doing intimate(sexual things). Although, never had intercourse. We are not in a relationship, though I have deep feelings for him. He has a gf overseas.I also see him flirting with another girl who works at the office and I instantly get jealous. Also, the last time we hooked up was before New Year's 2009, after we hooked up, he told me he hopes I get a bf this year and that things work out for me since I told him I was going to see a counselor. Last week I wrote him a letter that I was hurt and angry and that I was going to mention it to my counselor, I will see her at the end of the month. Then last Thursday, I emailed him saying that I wasn't hurt and angry and that I hoped we could get along as coworkers. He didn't respond back and he didn't say anything to me, but I kept ignoring him since I didn't know what to doHow do I get myself out of this emotional turmoil?
You've been getting played with %26amp; used and he actually couldn't care less. Too bad you're going to choose to not see it until you go through some more pain first. You should realize he's a jerk(cheating, flirting etc), and move on, sooner rather than later. Sorry.How do I get myself out of this emotional turmoil?
He doesn't know what to do either. If hes got a girl, let him off the hook. Hes cheating on her, regardless of what it is. Do you want in on that?
your probably American, you need more therapy, or a life.
well hes a jerk cuz hes cheating on his gf with you and obviously playing with you too. youve got to forget about him. just go out with friends and keep yourself busy to get your mind off of him and try to stop talking to him.
with feelings I have for a coworker. This coworker and I have been doing intimate(sexual things). Although, never had intercourse. We are not in a relationship, though I have deep feelings for him. He has a gf overseas.I also see him flirting with another girl who works at the office and I instantly get jealous. Also, the last time we hooked up was before New Year's 2009, after we hooked up, he told me he hopes I get a bf this year and that things work out for me since I told him I was going to see a counselor. Last week I wrote him a letter that I was hurt and angry and that I was going to mention it to my counselor, I will see her at the end of the month. Then last Thursday, I emailed him saying that I wasn't hurt and angry and that I hoped we could get along as coworkers. He didn't respond back and he didn't say anything to me, but I kept ignoring him since I didn't know what to doHow do I get myself out of this emotional turmoil?
You've been getting played with %26amp; used and he actually couldn't care less. Too bad you're going to choose to not see it until you go through some more pain first. You should realize he's a jerk(cheating, flirting etc), and move on, sooner rather than later. Sorry.How do I get myself out of this emotional turmoil?
He doesn't know what to do either. If hes got a girl, let him off the hook. Hes cheating on her, regardless of what it is. Do you want in on that?
your probably American, you need more therapy, or a life.
well hes a jerk cuz hes cheating on his gf with you and obviously playing with you too. youve got to forget about him. just go out with friends and keep yourself busy to get your mind off of him and try to stop talking to him.
How do I get myself out of this emotional turmoil?
How do I get myself out of this emotional turmoil?
with feelings I have for a coworker. This coworker and I have been doing intimate(sexual things). Although, never had intercourse. We are not in a relationship, though I have deep feelings for him. He has a gf overseas.I also see him flirting with another girl who works at the office and I instantly get jealous. Also, the last time we hooked up was before New Year's 2009, after we hooked up, he told me he hopes I get a bf this year and that things work out for me since I told him I was going to see a counselor. Last week I wrote him a letter that I was hurt and angry and that I was going to mention it to my counselor, I will see her at the end of the month. Then last Thursday, I emailed him saying that I wasn't hurt and angry and that I hoped we could get along as coworkers. He didn't respond back and he didn't say anything to me, but I kept ignoring him since I didn't know what to doHow do I get myself out of this emotional turmoil?
He doesn't know what to do because you don't know what you want to do, and I think he's now past caring.
Carry on with the counselling.How do I get myself out of this emotional turmoil?
move on - game player - do not get used - you are special.
make a clean break. be careful. emotional yoyos are not worth it especially with a guy who doesn't seem to be serious. to keep away from emotional turmoil, try not to start the physical part too early so you have time to assess the situation realistically and objectively. mind over emotion.
put yourself together and ger a real relationship . the guy is a player and a liar.
Nothing's gonna happen if you keep ignoring each other. But if you want, just leave him behind you and get on with your life.
Sorry, but you are an object in his eyes, not a person. You need to find someone who actually cares about a relationship, not just physical entertainment...
omg i too have a ';thing'; with my co-worker who also has a girlfriend! she is not overseas however, they live together. we have only made out and he sends me text messages all day and night, i can't even have a boyfriend (i've tried 2 relationships since) because it felt like cheating on them to still talk to him just about ordinary things. but it's a secret at work, this has been going on for almost a year so i can slightly relate because he is literally the man of my dreams but won't leave his girlfriend even though he says he loves me and i'm the most beautiful girl he's ever seen and i make him feel so good about himself. we've had these ups and downs too of not talking and me getting mad at him when he can't see me because he has led me on. i know it's not going to work out the ideal way i originally wanted, and you should just accept the same. he's like forbidden fruit, i know that's what makes ';my'; guy even more irresistable. we use eachother to fill the voids in our lives, we both understand that now so we go on with it because we need eachother in a way and it's fun. it sounds like he really cares about you and doesn't want him to hold you back from anything. so if you want to continue doing this realize that right now what you want and what he wants is not the same thing and maybe you should try to be just friends and if you can't do that then just keep it civil at work. but if you're not having fun anymore and you truly need to see a counselor about it, don't talk to him. i know it's so confusing. GOOD LUCK! and also don't forget to keep your options open, he is not the only guy in the world.
with feelings I have for a coworker. This coworker and I have been doing intimate(sexual things). Although, never had intercourse. We are not in a relationship, though I have deep feelings for him. He has a gf overseas.I also see him flirting with another girl who works at the office and I instantly get jealous. Also, the last time we hooked up was before New Year's 2009, after we hooked up, he told me he hopes I get a bf this year and that things work out for me since I told him I was going to see a counselor. Last week I wrote him a letter that I was hurt and angry and that I was going to mention it to my counselor, I will see her at the end of the month. Then last Thursday, I emailed him saying that I wasn't hurt and angry and that I hoped we could get along as coworkers. He didn't respond back and he didn't say anything to me, but I kept ignoring him since I didn't know what to doHow do I get myself out of this emotional turmoil?
He doesn't know what to do because you don't know what you want to do, and I think he's now past caring.
Carry on with the counselling.How do I get myself out of this emotional turmoil?
move on - game player - do not get used - you are special.
make a clean break. be careful. emotional yoyos are not worth it especially with a guy who doesn't seem to be serious. to keep away from emotional turmoil, try not to start the physical part too early so you have time to assess the situation realistically and objectively. mind over emotion.
put yourself together and ger a real relationship . the guy is a player and a liar.
Nothing's gonna happen if you keep ignoring each other. But if you want, just leave him behind you and get on with your life.
Sorry, but you are an object in his eyes, not a person. You need to find someone who actually cares about a relationship, not just physical entertainment...
omg i too have a ';thing'; with my co-worker who also has a girlfriend! she is not overseas however, they live together. we have only made out and he sends me text messages all day and night, i can't even have a boyfriend (i've tried 2 relationships since) because it felt like cheating on them to still talk to him just about ordinary things. but it's a secret at work, this has been going on for almost a year so i can slightly relate because he is literally the man of my dreams but won't leave his girlfriend even though he says he loves me and i'm the most beautiful girl he's ever seen and i make him feel so good about himself. we've had these ups and downs too of not talking and me getting mad at him when he can't see me because he has led me on. i know it's not going to work out the ideal way i originally wanted, and you should just accept the same. he's like forbidden fruit, i know that's what makes ';my'; guy even more irresistable. we use eachother to fill the voids in our lives, we both understand that now so we go on with it because we need eachother in a way and it's fun. it sounds like he really cares about you and doesn't want him to hold you back from anything. so if you want to continue doing this realize that right now what you want and what he wants is not the same thing and maybe you should try to be just friends and if you can't do that then just keep it civil at work. but if you're not having fun anymore and you truly need to see a counselor about it, don't talk to him. i know it's so confusing. GOOD LUCK! and also don't forget to keep your options open, he is not the only guy in the world.
How do I get myself out of this emotional turmoil?
How do I get myself out of this emotional turmoil?
How do I get myself out of this emotional turmoil?
with feelings I have for a coworker. This coworker and I have been doing intimate(sexual things). Although, never had intercourse. We are not in a relationship, though I have deep feelings for him. He has a gf overseas.I also see him flirting with another girl who works at the office and I instantly get jealous. Also, the last time we hooked up was before New Year's 2009, after we hooked up, he told me he hopes I get a bf this year and that things work out for me since I told him I was going to see a counselor. Last week I wrote him a letter that I was hurt and angry and that I was going to mention it to my counselor, I will see her at the end of the month. Then last Thursday, I emailed him saying that I wasn't hurt and angry and that I hoped we could get along as coworkers. He didn't respond back and he didn't say anything to me, but I kept ignoring him since I didn't know what to doHow do I get myself out of this emotional turmoil?
wow thats kinda tough! i would say that this guy is just a player! if he has a girlfriend oversees and he also flirts with another girl at work, along with doing intimate things with you, i would say he isnt worth anything. maybe you dont want a relationship with him, but even a friendship would be hard because in any type of relationship, you have to establish trust. And this guy doesnt seem very trustworthy. As far as your deep feelings for him go, i would just convince yourself that you are better than him and too good for him, which im sure you are! If he keeps ignoring you, then you probably dont mean much to him. He doesnt seem to really care about you or anyone else for that matter because of the way he is acting. You seem like a great person and you deserve someone way better! im sure a coworker relationship would also be hard to attain because he may continue to lead you on. i really hope ive helped you some! good luck!!How do I get myself out of this emotional turmoil?
get over it, move on ... he thought it was strictly fooling around since you know he has a girlfriend, all it is was that, nothing more he doesnt want to make it into anything im sure he wants to forget it ever happened, stop trying to be cool with him, im sure he doesnt care about your feelings, get over it, hes a jerk, let him do it to someone else
i also got into a relationship with a coworker , i feel for him he he felt the same for me . we instantly got in to a relationship , sexually. im sorry i did . he was married i knew that , but we still continued to see each other almost a whole year it still hurts . he never left his wife my boyfriend and i split after way before that he was cheating with women while i was at work the same as my ex boyfriend dint do it you ll be hurting yourself . now im with someone that sells on ebay and no job .has a file cabinet full of cameron Dias , he makes me feel like **** about myself , good luckpets How can I keep the blankets on my baby?
How do I get myself out of this emotional turmoil?
with feelings I have for a coworker. This coworker and I have been doing intimate(sexual things). Although, never had intercourse. We are not in a relationship, though I have deep feelings for him. He has a gf overseas.I also see him flirting with another girl who works at the office and I instantly get jealous. Also, the last time we hooked up was before New Year's 2009, after we hooked up, he told me he hopes I get a bf this year and that things work out for me since I told him I was going to see a counselor. Last week I wrote him a letter that I was hurt and angry and that I was going to mention it to my counselor, I will see her at the end of the month. Then last Thursday, I emailed him saying that I wasn't hurt and angry and that I hoped we could get along as coworkers. He didn't respond back and he didn't say anything to me, but I kept ignoring him since I didn't know what to doHow do I get myself out of this emotional turmoil?
wow thats kinda tough! i would say that this guy is just a player! if he has a girlfriend oversees and he also flirts with another girl at work, along with doing intimate things with you, i would say he isnt worth anything. maybe you dont want a relationship with him, but even a friendship would be hard because in any type of relationship, you have to establish trust. And this guy doesnt seem very trustworthy. As far as your deep feelings for him go, i would just convince yourself that you are better than him and too good for him, which im sure you are! If he keeps ignoring you, then you probably dont mean much to him. He doesnt seem to really care about you or anyone else for that matter because of the way he is acting. You seem like a great person and you deserve someone way better! im sure a coworker relationship would also be hard to attain because he may continue to lead you on. i really hope ive helped you some! good luck!!How do I get myself out of this emotional turmoil?
get over it, move on ... he thought it was strictly fooling around since you know he has a girlfriend, all it is was that, nothing more he doesnt want to make it into anything im sure he wants to forget it ever happened, stop trying to be cool with him, im sure he doesnt care about your feelings, get over it, hes a jerk, let him do it to someone else
i also got into a relationship with a coworker , i feel for him he he felt the same for me . we instantly got in to a relationship , sexually. im sorry i did . he was married i knew that , but we still continued to see each other almost a whole year it still hurts . he never left his wife my boyfriend and i split after way before that he was cheating with women while i was at work the same as my ex boyfriend dint do it you ll be hurting yourself . now im with someone that sells on ebay and no job .has a file cabinet full of cameron Dias , he makes me feel like **** about myself , good luck
How do I get myself out of this emotional turmoil?
How do I get myself out of this emotional turmoil?
How do I get myself out of this emotional turmoil?
with feelings I have for a coworker. This coworker and I have been doing intimate(sexual things). Although, never had intercourse. We are not in a relationship, though I have deep feelings for him. He has a gf overseas.I also see him flirting with another girl who works at the office and I instantly get jealous. Also, the last time we hooked up was before New Year's 2009, after we hooked up, he told me he hopes I get a bf this year and that things work out for me since I told him I was going to see a counselor. Last week I wrote him a letter that I was hurt and angry and that I was going to mention it to my counselor, I will see her at the end of the month. Then last Thursday, I emailed him saying that I wasn't hurt and angry and that I hoped we could get along as coworkers. He didn't respond back and he didn't say anything to me, but I kept ignoring him since I didn't know what to doHow do I get myself out of this emotional turmoil?
read Sex for Dummies. it talks about how ';friends with benefits'; can be damagin.
Seeing a counsellor is like seeing a doctor even when they don't have a PhD. if the ';emotional turmoil'; u mention is really an illness, they'll help cure it. whether it be ur guy or u.
How do I get myself out of this emotional turmoil?
with feelings I have for a coworker. This coworker and I have been doing intimate(sexual things). Although, never had intercourse. We are not in a relationship, though I have deep feelings for him. He has a gf overseas.I also see him flirting with another girl who works at the office and I instantly get jealous. Also, the last time we hooked up was before New Year's 2009, after we hooked up, he told me he hopes I get a bf this year and that things work out for me since I told him I was going to see a counselor. Last week I wrote him a letter that I was hurt and angry and that I was going to mention it to my counselor, I will see her at the end of the month. Then last Thursday, I emailed him saying that I wasn't hurt and angry and that I hoped we could get along as coworkers. He didn't respond back and he didn't say anything to me, but I kept ignoring him since I didn't know what to doHow do I get myself out of this emotional turmoil?
read Sex for Dummies. it talks about how ';friends with benefits'; can be damagin.
Seeing a counsellor is like seeing a doctor even when they don't have a PhD. if the ';emotional turmoil'; u mention is really an illness, they'll help cure it. whether it be ur guy or u.
My coworkers are jerks, should I tell my boss?
I've worked for the same hospital for awhile now and I just transferred to another unit (I wanted another shift and it was available on the new unit). There are these two other nurses that I work with now who are unbearable.
For one thing, every conversation they have is about other people. They sit there and talk bad about everyone. Every time someone leaves the nurses' station they start in on them. And the things they say are really awful. One nurse brought in pictures of her 12 years daughter and the second she was out of earshot they started talking about how fat and ugly the girl was. Then they try and get you in on it. They were asking me if I liked a particular nurse and I tried to change the subject (I said something along the lines of ';I don't know her that well. She seems okay';). They could not take a hint .They would not let it go. They just kept talking about all these things she did or said. I mentioned it to a nurse from my old unit and she said that they try to get you to say stuff and then they go and tell the other person what you said. I kind of had an idea that they might so I don't say anything. I mean, I don't talk about people anyway, but I don't trust them as far as I can throw them.
Then there's the pranks. They sent one nurse on a wild goose chase across the hospital. They put vaseline on the phone and then told another they had a phone call.
They also do that thing where they say something mean like they're joking, but you really kind of get the idea that they're really just trying to say it.
Anyway, I have my review coming up and I have no idea what to say to my boss. My old job has already been filled, so I want to transfer to another unit. I don't want to come across like I can't get along with my coworkers and I don't want to get them in trouble (okay, I'd actually love that, but I don't want to be known as someone who snitches). And if the transfer doesn't go through I'm stuck working with them. What should I say to my boss?My coworkers are jerks, should I tell my boss?
I'm sorry this is happening to you and I completely sympathize.
I think you only have 2 options here:
1. Just bare with it and keep your head down with those 2 and NEVER talk any trash about anyone behind their back, because THEY WILL hear about it.
2. Tell your Boss, you love your job and love co-workers except a few who are unprofessional and make this workplace uncomfortable for you to do your job efficiently and you feel guilty saying this already, and then ask for a transfer (if available).
Think about those options VERY carefully. Only you could predict the outcome since you're the only one who knows those people.
Either way, if you're prepared to talk about it, make sure you're prepared if he asks you who those people are, what are you going to say? He might insist to find out and you might crumble under pressure and they would know, and even then he might not transfer you.
ARE YOU PREPARED?
It is a tough situation and I wish you all the best. If I were you, I'd keep my head down, not associate too much with those two, and wait until they get themselves in trouble. They won't need any help with that.My coworkers are jerks, should I tell my boss?
say what you said here
your boss should understand your predicament
Start by telling your boss that what you're about to say is confidential, between you and him/her (it should be anyway, but just to make SURE your name is never mentioned). Then, like you said here, you're not trying to be a snitch, but address it as an issue that is creating an uncomfortable work environment for you and your other coworkers. You'll probably have better luck using those words, as you should be entitled to a comfortable work environment and this issue is making it very difficult for you to focus on your work and function normally. You shouldn't have to be afraid to open your mouth around your coworkers afraid that they will take what you say and make fun of you behind your back, or that you'll fall victim to one of their childish pranks. Judging from the fact that they talk negatively about other people behind their backs, you can rest assured they probably start talking badly about you as soon as you turn your back. Mentioning that it affects your job performance should get you better chances of having the issue resolved. I hope things work out for you.
You could mention the 'bad attitude' of some of your coworkers without providing names. This way you aren't saying that ';you'; don't get along with others. Chances are if you feel this way towards them there are other members of the staff that feel the4 same way.
try to talk to the mean people and tell some of the nurses that they talked about what they said and if their still me maybe set something up with your boss to catch them like have o nurse bring in a video camera and the one they said had fat and ugly kids could bring the pictures back and you could record them saying mean things or something like that
yeah I would tell him
Say how much you love the shift time, but your coworkers are just so rude and annoying. Tell him all the stuff you told us, and don't worry about coming off as a snitch, just ask you boss not to tell them anything.
For one thing, every conversation they have is about other people. They sit there and talk bad about everyone. Every time someone leaves the nurses' station they start in on them. And the things they say are really awful. One nurse brought in pictures of her 12 years daughter and the second she was out of earshot they started talking about how fat and ugly the girl was. Then they try and get you in on it. They were asking me if I liked a particular nurse and I tried to change the subject (I said something along the lines of ';I don't know her that well. She seems okay';). They could not take a hint .They would not let it go. They just kept talking about all these things she did or said. I mentioned it to a nurse from my old unit and she said that they try to get you to say stuff and then they go and tell the other person what you said. I kind of had an idea that they might so I don't say anything. I mean, I don't talk about people anyway, but I don't trust them as far as I can throw them.
Then there's the pranks. They sent one nurse on a wild goose chase across the hospital. They put vaseline on the phone and then told another they had a phone call.
They also do that thing where they say something mean like they're joking, but you really kind of get the idea that they're really just trying to say it.
Anyway, I have my review coming up and I have no idea what to say to my boss. My old job has already been filled, so I want to transfer to another unit. I don't want to come across like I can't get along with my coworkers and I don't want to get them in trouble (okay, I'd actually love that, but I don't want to be known as someone who snitches). And if the transfer doesn't go through I'm stuck working with them. What should I say to my boss?My coworkers are jerks, should I tell my boss?
I'm sorry this is happening to you and I completely sympathize.
I think you only have 2 options here:
1. Just bare with it and keep your head down with those 2 and NEVER talk any trash about anyone behind their back, because THEY WILL hear about it.
2. Tell your Boss, you love your job and love co-workers except a few who are unprofessional and make this workplace uncomfortable for you to do your job efficiently and you feel guilty saying this already, and then ask for a transfer (if available).
Think about those options VERY carefully. Only you could predict the outcome since you're the only one who knows those people.
Either way, if you're prepared to talk about it, make sure you're prepared if he asks you who those people are, what are you going to say? He might insist to find out and you might crumble under pressure and they would know, and even then he might not transfer you.
ARE YOU PREPARED?
It is a tough situation and I wish you all the best. If I were you, I'd keep my head down, not associate too much with those two, and wait until they get themselves in trouble. They won't need any help with that.My coworkers are jerks, should I tell my boss?
say what you said here
your boss should understand your predicament
Start by telling your boss that what you're about to say is confidential, between you and him/her (it should be anyway, but just to make SURE your name is never mentioned). Then, like you said here, you're not trying to be a snitch, but address it as an issue that is creating an uncomfortable work environment for you and your other coworkers. You'll probably have better luck using those words, as you should be entitled to a comfortable work environment and this issue is making it very difficult for you to focus on your work and function normally. You shouldn't have to be afraid to open your mouth around your coworkers afraid that they will take what you say and make fun of you behind your back, or that you'll fall victim to one of their childish pranks. Judging from the fact that they talk negatively about other people behind their backs, you can rest assured they probably start talking badly about you as soon as you turn your back. Mentioning that it affects your job performance should get you better chances of having the issue resolved. I hope things work out for you.
You could mention the 'bad attitude' of some of your coworkers without providing names. This way you aren't saying that ';you'; don't get along with others. Chances are if you feel this way towards them there are other members of the staff that feel the4 same way.
try to talk to the mean people and tell some of the nurses that they talked about what they said and if their still me maybe set something up with your boss to catch them like have o nurse bring in a video camera and the one they said had fat and ugly kids could bring the pictures back and you could record them saying mean things or something like that
yeah I would tell him
Say how much you love the shift time, but your coworkers are just so rude and annoying. Tell him all the stuff you told us, and don't worry about coming off as a snitch, just ask you boss not to tell them anything.
My coworkers are jerks, should I tell my boss?
I've worked for the same hospital for awhile now and I just transferred to another unit (I wanted another shift and it was available on the new unit). There are these two other nurses that I work with now who are unbearable.
For one thing, every conversation they have is about other people. They sit there and talk bad about everyone. Every time someone leaves the nurses' station they start in on them. And the things they say are really awful. One nurse brought in pictures of her 12 years daughter and the second she was out of earshot they started talking about how fat and ugly the girl was. Then they try and get you in on it. They were asking me if I liked a particular nurse and I tried to change the subject (I said something along the lines of ';I don't know her that well. She seems okay';). They could not take a hint .They would not let it go. They just kept talking about all these things she did or said. I mentioned it to a nurse from my old unit and she said that they try to get you to say stuff and then they go and tell the other person what you said. I kind of had an idea that they might so I don't say anything. I mean, I don't talk about people anyway, but I don't trust them as far as I can throw them.
Then there's the pranks. They sent one nurse on a wild goose chase across the hospital. They put vaseline on the phone and then told another they had a phone call.
They also do that thing where they say something mean like they're joking, but you really kind of get the idea that they're really just trying to say it.
Anyway, I have my review coming up and I have no idea what to say to my boss. My old job has already been filled, so I want to transfer to another unit. I don't want to come across like I can't get along with my coworkers and I don't want to get them in trouble (okay, I'd actually love that, but I don't want to be known as someone who snitches). And if the transfer doesn't go through I'm stuck working with them. What should I say to my boss?My coworkers are jerks, should I tell my boss?
I would not tell the boss yet, or at all. Ignore them, focus on work and perhaps things will improve. If not, then later put in for a transfer (after whatever is a reasonable amount of time at your job, so you will not look like you are just bouncing around).My coworkers are jerks, should I tell my boss?
You never want to give the impression you cannot get along well with all types of people. Just don't participate in the gossip %26amp; immature behavior. eventually, it will catch up with them. You aren't at work to make friends, just do your job to the best of your own ability %26amp; then go home feeling rewarded that you contributed your time %26amp; care to other human beings who were in need.
Have they displayed any kind of this behavior towards patients? If they have you can approach it as concerned about the patients experience! I personally have had rude staff in the ER argue with each other, roll their eyes, complain, all while I was trying to get admitted and treated. I still run through my mind the snide and off base remarks I heard made by the nurses at the station outside my door about me and other patients that day. It really upset me. If they have displayed this kind of behavior towards or in the earshot of patients you can bring it up in that manner and while discussing that say, it is one thing to disturb other workers by the gossip and pranks but when the patients are dragged into I get very concerned. That may open the door for you to spill your guts. Mention that you do not in any way want to be a snitch but it is making your work experience less than professional and you won't mention again but hope that some work ethic can be introduced for the benefit of the staff and the patients.
Best of Luck! NO matter where you work this kind of childish and disruptive behavior occurs.
For one thing, every conversation they have is about other people. They sit there and talk bad about everyone. Every time someone leaves the nurses' station they start in on them. And the things they say are really awful. One nurse brought in pictures of her 12 years daughter and the second she was out of earshot they started talking about how fat and ugly the girl was. Then they try and get you in on it. They were asking me if I liked a particular nurse and I tried to change the subject (I said something along the lines of ';I don't know her that well. She seems okay';). They could not take a hint .They would not let it go. They just kept talking about all these things she did or said. I mentioned it to a nurse from my old unit and she said that they try to get you to say stuff and then they go and tell the other person what you said. I kind of had an idea that they might so I don't say anything. I mean, I don't talk about people anyway, but I don't trust them as far as I can throw them.
Then there's the pranks. They sent one nurse on a wild goose chase across the hospital. They put vaseline on the phone and then told another they had a phone call.
They also do that thing where they say something mean like they're joking, but you really kind of get the idea that they're really just trying to say it.
Anyway, I have my review coming up and I have no idea what to say to my boss. My old job has already been filled, so I want to transfer to another unit. I don't want to come across like I can't get along with my coworkers and I don't want to get them in trouble (okay, I'd actually love that, but I don't want to be known as someone who snitches). And if the transfer doesn't go through I'm stuck working with them. What should I say to my boss?My coworkers are jerks, should I tell my boss?
I would not tell the boss yet, or at all. Ignore them, focus on work and perhaps things will improve. If not, then later put in for a transfer (after whatever is a reasonable amount of time at your job, so you will not look like you are just bouncing around).My coworkers are jerks, should I tell my boss?
You never want to give the impression you cannot get along well with all types of people. Just don't participate in the gossip %26amp; immature behavior. eventually, it will catch up with them. You aren't at work to make friends, just do your job to the best of your own ability %26amp; then go home feeling rewarded that you contributed your time %26amp; care to other human beings who were in need.
Have they displayed any kind of this behavior towards patients? If they have you can approach it as concerned about the patients experience! I personally have had rude staff in the ER argue with each other, roll their eyes, complain, all while I was trying to get admitted and treated. I still run through my mind the snide and off base remarks I heard made by the nurses at the station outside my door about me and other patients that day. It really upset me. If they have displayed this kind of behavior towards or in the earshot of patients you can bring it up in that manner and while discussing that say, it is one thing to disturb other workers by the gossip and pranks but when the patients are dragged into I get very concerned. That may open the door for you to spill your guts. Mention that you do not in any way want to be a snitch but it is making your work experience less than professional and you won't mention again but hope that some work ethic can be introduced for the benefit of the staff and the patients.
Best of Luck! NO matter where you work this kind of childish and disruptive behavior occurs.
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