Sunday, November 21, 2010

Socializing with coworkers???

i get along well with most of my coworkers but im having a tough time balancing everyone's requests for hanging out after work. i mean, i like them, have nthing against anyone but 2 or my coworkers regularly go to happy hour every week and it looks rude if i decline. which i usually want to, simply because i see them all day anyway i really want to keep my social and work life apart. and also because im wary of drinking with coworkers and ALL they ever want to do is drink. how do i tactfully handle their invitations without looking like a boring wuss? i really cherish whatever little time i get to socialize and could really spend it constructively with friends who help me take my mind off work rather than sit and drink and ***** abt work (same old thing every time). help!!Socializing with coworkers???
You could look like a boring wuss, but you could also look like a responsible, mature person, with better things to do with his time than drink. You are never obligated to accept an invitation like that. You could say something like:



Thank you for the invitation, but I have other obligations. I appreciate the offer, though.



or



You guys go on and have fun. I'm so sick of work by the end of the day, all I want to do is forget it.Socializing with coworkers???
It comes a time in everyone's life when they have to speak up for themselves. This would be the time for you. You will not hurt anyone's feelings if you say, ';Not Tonite.'; If you do, then they will get over it by getting drunk at happy hour. That is what their plan was anyway so you not going out with them won't prevent them from reaching their goal. I categorize my friends by Friday and Saturday night. Friday night I hang out with this group and Saturday night I hang out with a different group. It works.
Just tell them you have a busy social life and you already have plans. Go out with them once a month, just to be nice. The rest of the time tell them you already have other plans but you hope they have a good time.
I do not care to hang out with my coworkers outside of work either. Just explain to them that you have a previous engagement or embelish a little if you have to. You definitely do not want to take part in office gossip. It is a career killer.
You odn't have any obligation to go; it's silly to if you don't want to.



Just say you have plans. Doesn't matter that the plans are to pour yourself a glass of wine and zone out in front of the tube.



What do YOU care if they think you're a boring wuss?



Your time is YOURS. You should spend it with people you choose to spend it with, not those whose company you don't enjoy that much.



Life's too short.
ignore them
Plan other events that do not include them. Hobbies, family, sporting activities etc. Once you continue to decline the invitations to go to the pub after work, they will stop asking
The thing is, that you already get your satisfaction from your co-workers without drinking. Btw, you'll learn later in life that being friends with your co-workers is not everything in the world and that professional life and social life are just fine when they're not blended together.



Truth is that since you already keep your work and social life apart, politely tell your co-workers that you've got plans after work but thank them for inviting you as their gesture of what they think is kindness.
I actually had this problem when I was working at a bar in college. Many of the people who would work there just went crazy after work and only hung out and hooked up with eachother, but I just wasn't into it. Just politely decline and say that you have plans or whatever. Maybe join them once or twice a month when you have some free time. It's ok to be friendly but it's good to have real friends outside of your job, beacuse your job wont last forever, but those friends will (hopefully).
work stays at work out side is a different life.
You could be honest and say, you aren't into drinking-especially during the work week. You can also, politely, explain you while you enjoy work and your coworkers you prefer other activities on your own time.

This way you won't continually be asked, and feel obligated. Your coworkers will also know you have personal boundaries you don't like blurring.
so you want your work life and your everyday life to be different and apart from eacother?

Simply tell your coworkers that you are simply busy with other things. your not lying because you do have other things to do other than work.

I know its hard to say NO because its sounds mean.. but there are other ways of sneaking arund the word NO.

Now dont say your always busy because then theyll get the hint that you dont want ot hang out.

its not like you hate them.. its just that there should be some space and time without workers.

Laugh and simply say thats alright and that you just simply cant.

leave with a joke to say so that it makes them feel better, more comfortable and accepting the fact that you cant come.

You have to make them.. satisfied and not leave with a thought of you not wanting to hang out with them.

I promise you they'll understand since they cant control you, only you can control yourself in everything.



good luck love%26lt;3~
I don't like hanging out with peers, either. We've hashed it out too many times already, and frankly, I would rather spend time with my cat.



If you don't want to go, don't! You don't have to worry what anyone thinks of you---why? Because you don't care, do you??? Just tell them that you have enrolled in a basket weaving class or whatever, and have to go straight from work. Smile and say thanks anyway, and scoot on home to your friends---and your cat if you have one!
Stick to your guns. Work and social life are two seperate things. It's ok to socialize at work but in my experience-work becomes a little too ';chummy'; when you extend relationships outside the office. Eventually everyone will just be used to you saying no that they'll stop asking. Maybe bake cookies randomly and bring them into work. That way everyone will still think you're nice.
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