Sunday, November 21, 2010

Internal conflict...could use advice?

My husband works in a small office with a few people. He particularly likes and gets along with a female coworker that is my age (29). My husband is 33. He said he likes her because they have a lot in common and they see eye to eye on most everything. I have no evidents of anything going on between them and my husband just reassures my insecurities that she is not attractive to him ( I guess she is big) and nothing is going on.I have never met any of his coworkers yet including her because he has worked there for under a year and it is a bio secure facility so I can't just walk in and say hi. The company does a lot of training and acitvities outside of work two hours away in which they car pool. I guess my husband will be alone with this female coworker on this next mini business class. On one hand I think I am being ridiculous for worrying so much and on the other hand I think this could be a bad situation. I know recently my husband wanted to get this women balloons for her birthday with another coworker and he said it was his idea, but he doesn't even get me balloons for my birthday. In fact, I have to tell him to please get me a card. He said because his birthday was recently a big deal at the office he didn't want to leave her out, which if that is true he is just being nice. I don't want to hear ';stop being jealous because you will just push him her way'; because honestly that wouldn't be my fault that would be his decision. I am having an internal conflict about this up coming business thing they are going on and I already pissed my husband off by telling him my concerns with how I feel about it...any advice at all? Obvioulsy I am not secure with my husband of three years, but I don't know where to go from here. I have never been secure with anyone. It might be my problem, but me and my husband have to face it together. Any ideas?Internal conflict...could use advice?
Jen relax,

It's good he reaches out and has friends at work. He sounds like me, a man that tends to make friends with woman. It drives my wife crazy. As friends we laugh and joke. There is an attraction, but its not based on sex. You should all meet up for dinner sometime.

Men at his age still have a raging sex drive. A horny man can be sucked in easily. My advice is don't be all pissy before the training. You give him what he wants sexually in the days leading up to it and I'll guarantee that he won't be interested in anyone else. You may be surprised what he brings you when he returns.Internal conflict...could use advice?
I think you need to pay attention to your intuition. A lot of affairs start off because people have similar interests and they compliment each other. There is no way you can control how or what your husband does. You however can control how you treat him, love, respect and adore him, in other words do not take your marriage for granted. Can you accompany him on this business meeting and make a little vacation out of it? Just try not to harp on your insecurities but keep your eyes open and treat him like you want to keep him.
Hi. I can see your concern. and I wish the best for your marriage. In the bible at 2 Timothy 3:16 says that “All Scripture is inspired of God and beneficial for teaching, for reproving, for setting things straight, for disciplining in righteousness,” so god who is the original creator of marriage in book of genesis can give us perfect advise.



1Co 13:4-7.

4?Love is long-suffering and kind. Love is not jealous, it does not brag, does not get puffed up, 5?does not behave indecently, does not look for its own interests, does not become provoked. It does not keep account of the injury. 6?It does not rejoice over unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth. 7?It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

8?Love never fails.



notice it said love is not jealous. love endures all things. so in marriage as wives we have to support are husbands.



11 A Christian wife can do much to make the home a place of rest and peace. For wives, Paul offers this inspired counsel: “Let wives be in subjection to their husbands as to the Lord, because a husband is head of his wife as the Christ also is head of the congregation, he being a savior of this body. In fact, as the congregation is in subjection to the Christ, so let wives also be to their husbands in everything. .?.?. The wife should have deep respect for her husband.” (Ephesians 5:22-24,?33) This “deep respect” contributes toward making the home a place of rest and peace. Surely, it differs greatly from the attitude of so many worldly wives who have an independent, challenging spirit that disturbs and upsets a home.

12 Christian husbands and wives need to act in ways that promote love and respect. The husband should be considerate, loving, spiritually mature. And the wife should be God-fearing, cooperative, lovable. It is not difficult to see how such attitudes would make a home a place of rest and peace.

In Marriage, Commitment Involves . . .



* Obligation ';What you vow, pay. Better is it that you vow not than that you vow and do not pay.';—Ecclesiastes 5:4, 5.

* Teamwork ';Two are better than one . . . For if one of them should fall, the other one can raise his partner up.';—Ecclesiastes 4:9, 10.

* Self-Sacrifice ';There is more happiness in giving than there is in receiving.';—Acts 20:35.

* A Long-Term View ';Love . . . endures all things.';—1 Corinthians 13:4, 7.
It's all in your head!Relax!

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