Sunday, November 21, 2010

What should I do about this?

I had hooked up with a coworker since I did feel a little attracted to him. We never actually had sex but we touched, caressed, and we would have dry sex. You know he would rub his private against mine. The thing is I've never been sexual with or even kissed a guy. So maybe there is something wrong with me. Anyway back in November, I emailed him telling him that this FWB is over and that I would tell HR on him if he ever suggested hooking up. Since November, I've been ignoring him completely no hello nada. Since I was so mad and hurt. Last month he went out of the country, I was actually relieved that he was gone, but then he came back last week and I kept ignoring him until yesterday. Yesterday, I saw him in the kitchen and he said hello, you know like a mechanical/ break the ice hello and I smiled and said hello and that was it. I felt completely at ease. This morning, I ran into him and said hello and he didn't say anything. I emailed him saying that I was hoping we could be on speaking terms since yesterday I felt at ease with speaking to him. He ignored my email. He actually didn't bother to open it and looked at me like a freak. I personally confronted him and he was like fine. As the afternoon progressed, I did a lot of walking by passing his desk, but I didn't bother to talk to him since I was working. As I was walking back and he was leaving he gave me a somewhat dirty rude look. I personally thought that was rude and I sent him an email stating that I thought him looking at me funny was rude and that I was hurting these past few months and that I was hoping we could get along as coworkers. Then I sent him another email that it was best that we didn't talk and that he should leave me alone and let me do my job. How can I move past this and get out and get some friends and a boyfriend? All I do is work and go to school, but I feel if I were getting out with people. This would be easier to deal with.What should I do about this?
First this guy has a lot of patience. You pulled the I'm going to go legal card on him when you had what you make sound like a consensual experience together. When you do that it means no contact zero zilch nada. Any contact at that point is consider legal sexual harassment and is actionable. Of course he did not want anything to do with you. In fact he is within his legal rights to file with HR on you at this point. Leave him alone. You are beginning to act like a stalker. Now that being said, in order to move on you have to move on. Go out to a nightclub or two. Get some girlfriends to go with you so it doesn't look like you are hunting. Join one of the new social dating groups that go on tours, dinner trips, etc as a group so there is no pairing up pressure. Really just get out.

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